


No Such Thing

by remarkable1



Category: Avengers (Comics), Marvel Adventures: Avengers, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom, Thor (Comics), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Amazon, Anal Fingering, Arguing, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Avoidance, Awesome Clint Barton, Awesome Jane Foster, Awesome Sam Wilson, Awkward Flirting, Bladder Infection, Break Up, Breast Fucking, Breasts, Bro Talks, Casual Sex, Ceiling Vent Clint Barton, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Complications, Cramps, Crying, Darcy Lewis & Loki Friendship, Darcy waffles about everything, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Kissing, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, Exhaustion, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Face-Fucking, Finger Sucking, Fingerfucking, Flirting, Fuckbuddies, Hangover, Happy Ending, Hot Sex, Ice Cream, Indecision, Insecure Darcy Lewis, Insecure Thor, Insecurity, Jane Foster & Darcy Lewis Friendship, Jane Foster Loves Science, Jane Foster is a Good Bro, Jealousy, Jesus Christ Thor Settle Down, Lame Sayings, Large Breasts, Large Cock, Loki posing as Thor, Making Love, Making Out, Making Up, Menstration, Minor Jane Foster/Thor, Misunderstandings, Moral Ambiguity, Moral Bankruptcy, Moral Dilemmas, Moral Lessons, Morality, Muscles, Naughty Thor, Oh God Yes, Oh My God, Oral Sex, Orgasms, Past Jane Foster/Thor, Poor Loki, Possessive Behavior, Post-Break Up, Protective Clint Barton, Protective Jane Foster, Protective Sam Wilson, Resolved Sexual Tension, Riding a Cock, Rough Sex, Running Away, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Sam Wilson is So Done, Scheming, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Humor, Sexual Tension, Silly Cultural References, Soul-Searching, Stark Tower, Teasing, The Google, Thor is Kinda Thick but Figures it out eventually, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, aching, blowjob, deviousness, envy - Freeform, horseplay, lucky - Freeform, moping, sore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:26:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21868231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remarkable1/pseuds/remarkable1
Summary: Casual sex was never a big deal for Darcy Lewis before Thor came along, so why is it different now?
Relationships: Darcy Lewis & Thor, Darcy Lewis/Thor, Jane Foster & Thor, Jane Foster/Thor
Comments: 19
Kudos: 214





	1. Not Meant To Be

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is finished at roughly 32K words. Thor's been yelling at me all week to get him together with Darcy before I work on my other stuff, so here you go. I won't be expanding on it. Merry Christmas everyone, or whatever you celebrate. I like to say Happy Chriskwansika.

It was really getting on Darcy’s nerves. The cute little giggles, the low-pitched rumbles she couldn’t quite hear, hands straying near improper boundaries but never quite crossing; frankly, if Jane and Thor didn’t just get it on already, Darcy Lewis felt like she was going to scream.

It was bad enough the intern had had a long dry spell (hey, three months was a long time in the scope of the Darcy-tastic sex life!). The only guys that seemed interested in her were one-night standers, and barely even worthy of that if she were honest with herself, and let’s just say, she wasn’t a big fan of self-honesty. Hence, why she’d been stuck with one loser after another, the latest being Ian.

Thank FUCK that idiot was long gone. Jane knew – KNEW- what Darcy was going through. For long enough, Darcy had been the one to hear Jane whine during those in-between bouts of Science!Jane going crazy over her spacey phenomena thingamajig-hoosa-whatsabobs.

So, it really wasn’t fair that Jane’s lips were locked incessantly to the blond hunka hunka burnin’ six-foot-five Norse God. Nope siree bob, not fair at all.

Finally, Darcy decided filing was no longer a priority. If Jane wasn’t gonna work, neither was she. Darcy grabbed a box of pop tarts, obnoxiously plopped the toaster in the middle of the table, and stretched the cord so far from the kitchen counter the prongs barely made a connection with the plug-in on the wall, dangerously close to the dripping coffee pot.

Flipping through her songs on her iPod, Darcy sat back in a kitchen chair, munching Pop-tarts, slurping on flat Diet Coke and staring at Jane and Thor making out like a couple of horn-dog teenagers. She was impressed. It took Jane a full fifteen minutes to notice, and then her face instantly went beet red. Thor’s hands hadn’t once strayed to Jane’s ass or tits, which was super dull and kind of sweet in an archaic, chivalrous sort of way. If she were filming, Darcy would have made precisely zero dollars on leaking it online to TMZ. Well, maybe a little bit, but then she’d be out her internship. And let’s face it, consorting with Gods was just – rockin’, even if it wasn’t her face getting sucked off.

“Darcy! Is that really necessary? Don’t you have some filing to do, or an errand to run, or something?” Jane admonished, pushing back from Thor and straightening her shirt, which was rucked up under his big hands.

Darcy looked her straight in the eye. “Nope!” Popping the “p” with extra aplomb. She licked the last bit of cherry Pop-tart crumbs from her fingertips and pushed the other half away she wasn't hungry for, enjoying Thor’s little wink in her direction. Damn, the guy was strapping, cut as hell, with good looks that didn’t quit. What she wouldn’t give... But ah well, Darcy didn’t screw over her friends by jumping on their love interests. Maybe Thor had a friend….

That gave her an idea.

Jumping up from the table, leaving her entire mess there, and the coffee still sitting on the burner, she skipped out of the room, waving her fingertips at them in a little, 'I'm blowing this pop stand for a bit, cee-ya,' kind of way. “We’re out of Pop-tarts. You guys need anything?”

Jane just stared at her with both hands on her hips, casting her eyes from Darcy’s mess to the girl in question at the door.

“No? Thor, what about you?”

“I am most particular to the greasy, crispy, extruded cornmeal rings you call ‘Fun-Yuns.’”

It was hard to get used to Thor’s Google-like descriptions of junk food, but she didn’t bat an eye. “What kind?”

“All of them.”

Darcy popped some gum into her mouth, trying not to snort saliva out her nose. She had to remember this guy was probably used to banquet tables groaning with food to sate his enormous, superhero-y appetite.

“Alrriggghttyyy-then. Got a spare twenty? That's going to cost more than I have on me."

Thor dug in a back pocket. "Ah-ha!" He proudly handed her a small wad of bills. "Will this do?"

"That's uh, more than enough," Darcy grinned, peeling off a twenty and handing the rest of the clip back to him. "Thanks, big guy."

"As always, it is my pleasure to serve, Lady Darcy," he bowed with a flourish and winked, causing her to giggle.

"If that's all, I'm outta here. And Thor, you sure about that? There are only four flavors."

"Then I should like a case of each."

Darcy hid her grin behind a hand and straightened, doing a little hop. "A case of one of every flavor. Got it. See you in ten.”

Jane waited until her intern's steps had faded down the stairs of their apartment building before whirling around, waving her arms in an exasperated motion. “Can you believe her? Just staring at us like we’re a goddamn soap opera?”

As usual, Thor only smiled slightly, amused by the petite woman’s outburst. The Midgardians used many funny words that he knew did not mean as they sounded. He took her comment at face value, helping himself to the last half of Pop-tart on Darcy’s empty plate.

“You must admit, there is very little to do. The girl has been working all day while you and I have been most – distracted,” he purred at Jane, sliding back over to her and sweeping her smaller body up into his arms.

Jane squealed delightfully. “Well, you have to admit, we are having a lot of fun.”

“Indeed. You can see in Lady Darcy’s eyes she envies you.”

Jane’s mouth popped open like a dead carp. She slapped Thor’s chest in mock anger. “You CANNOT be serious. Darcy Lewis, Miss ‘casual sex is no big deal’, and ‘I get laid all the time’, is envious of you and me? We were only kissing!”

Thor leaned in and stole another breath-stealing kiss from his girlfriend before setting her down, sparing her a sad look before plopping his ass on the faded leather couch. “Yes. I know.”

How could this man go from hot to cold so quickly? Jane figured that even Gods had male PMS, the same as Earth guys.

“Okay. Spill it. What’s bothering you?”

“” Tis nothing, dear Jane.”

“Don’t bullshit me, Thor Odinson!”

Thor just looked up at her with his big blue puppy dog eyes. “Darcy Lewis wishes she were you. In the arms of a strong, virile God, taking her firmly, passionately while she cries out her release into his mouth as he finishes inside of her, collapsing into a heap of tangled limbs and passing out in one another arm’s ‘til ‘morn.”

Jane was getting really good at imitating dead carp mouth at this point. “Where in the hell did you get that from? I've never heard her say that!”

“It’s in her writing journal. She left it open on the table the other day, and I could not help but read it in passing. I could almost swear she wished for me to see it. Still, knowing how Midgardian women value privacy, I knew that was probably not true.”

Jane marched into Darcy’s room and rummaged around, then came back out with a blue, battered notebook. “Is this the one?”

“Yes. ‘Tis. But I do not think you should be – what is the word Lady Darcy uses? – snooping – in her private effects. ‘Tis a breach of trust.”

“Oh, but it’s okay for you to read what’s in there?”

“It was open on the kitchen table a handspan's length from my arm. I could not help but see it.”

“Fair enough. But if Darcy is lusting after MY boyfriend, boy, do I have words for her!”

Jane was panting, her face red and angry, flushed prettily as she flipped through the notebook. “I don’t see anything in here!”

“Hmm. Perhaps she tore the page out and destroyed it.”

Jane dropped the book to her side and narrowed her eyes. “Or maybe you’re just making this up to see what my reaction would be to you saying something like that about my best friend.”

Thor couldn’t hide his mirth any longer, and burst out laughing, practically rolling on his side in humor.

“Thor! That’s not funny! I don’t appreciate you playing jokes on me like - like Loki probably would!”

“Oh, but my brother has taught me much over the centuries. Baiting females is one of them. An excellent pastime.”

Jane marched back into Darcy’s room and replaced the notebook, then stomped into the kitchen to clean up Darcy’s pigsty, and help herself to a fresh cup of joe. Leaning a hip against the sink, she ignored Thor, pretending not to see him sneaking up behind her, and attempting to push his arms away when he stole them around her middle.

“I am sorry. Truly. Please, do not be cross with me. I only sought a bit of merriment.”

“Matters of sex and love are not funny to joke about,” Jane responded coldly, but then felt her heart stutter when Thor leaned down and sniffed her hair, blowing on her ear softly, sending a shudder of delight down her spine.

“You speak of sex and love, Lady Jane, yet you deny my advances. Have I done or said something to offend you?”

Jane set her coffee cup down and turned in his arms, reaching up to hook hers around his neck as he bent to kiss her. When they came up for air, he rested his forehead against Jane’s.

“Is that what this was all about? You want to get into my pants?”

“It’s not only a want, but it is also a NEED. I respect your choices to share your body, or not, as it pleases you. As an Asgardian male, I am used to certain – pleasures – satiating my sexual appetites regularly. I understand it would be frowned upon to take those pleasures in another while waiting for you to share your body with me, which you only do in my dreams, at the present time.”

“It would certainly be frowned upon! I would probably break up with you!”

“Yes. This is why I have stayed faithful to you, my dear Jane. I only wish to know, why are you holding back?”

“Please, Thor, don’t pressure me. I – I’m just not ready for that with you - or - I mean, at this stage of a relationship, with anyone. People like Darcy have no problem jumping in the sack with a guy for one night. That’s just not me.”

Jane pulled away, turning, rubbing her hands over her upper arms as she crossed them.

Thor didn't like the way Jane had lumped her best friend in with 'people like' as if it denoted the fair Lady Lewis were a slut. He sincerely hoped Jane didn't mean it that way, as having sex only for pleasure and not to pursue a relationship was perfectly acceptable.

“I have not been instructed on the amount of time is proper before engaging in sexual congress with Midgardian females, specifically – you. I love you, Jane. I simply wish to express my love physically as well as every other way we already do.”

“I know. I love you too. Thor, there IS no timeline. It’ll happen when it’s supposed to.”

“Then, I wish for it to happen right now,” Thor growled, swooping in and wrapping her up from behind again, lifting her, her petite frame kicking at him ineffectually.

“Thor! Put me down! I didn’t say right now!”

Thor did as bid, looking hurt and confused. “I do not understand your complicated courtship rituals. In Asgard, if two such adults seek pleasure, they have but to find a private place to couple. Of course, many with bonded mates wish to remain monogamous to one another. However, it is not unusual to seek out others with the consent of your spouse.”

“You mean people openly cheat on each other where you’re from?” Jane asked, appalled by the idea.

“Yes. Although, it is not ‘cheating,’ as you say if both parties consent. One is not done behind the back of another. That would be considered a very grave betrayal. Hence, why I stay loyal to you, my love. I only wish to share those pleasures with you. If you gave me permission, I would seek those pleasures elsewhere; not everything we share, only physical release until you are ready to be with me in that way.”

“I don’t believe you! You want to fuck other women?”

“Only to release the tension in my loins. A man would suffice as well. Hel, even a mouth would take the edge off of my pressing need. My hand is tired, Jane. There is no better feeling than being buried in the wet sleeve of a woman’s sacred place. It is one of the most exquisite sensations in the Nine. You may continue to request me to wait, but I must be honest – I do not know how long I can wait for you.”

“You ARE pressuring me!” Jane yelled, slapping his arm away when he reached for her.

“No. I am being honest with you, which is what you requested when we agreed to this relationship.”

“Being honest and wanting to fuck other women are two horses of a totally different color! And you want to fuck men? That's uh, different. I didn't know that about you.” She had tried to go for outraged, then realized she sounded like a hypocrite for criticizing him for being bi. 

“I do not understand the phrase, 'two horses of a different color.' However, I do not WANT to fuck other women or men. I want YOU. My very physiology demands release. Such as a being needs air to breathe, water to flourish, love to cherish, my physical needs must also be met. I would be remiss to neglect my needs in favor of this – this – unnecessary prolonging of our union.”

“I wish I could say I understand, Thor, but I don’t. It’s just not done here on Earth. I mean, people DO do that, but it’s considered cheating.”

“What about relationships of a polyamorous nature?” he inquired, seating himself gently on the faded couch again, arms spread out along the back.

How could he so matter-of-fact about all of this? Then Jane remembered he was over a thousand years old. It did make sense, weirdly, that his race was a lot less uptight about sex than she was. Still. It just – rubbed her the wrong way – and on principle alone, she couldn’t give in because he wasn’t getting his itch scratched.

“What about them?” she countered, fiddling with the dirty dishes in the sink, filling it with water and soap and scrubbing unnecessarily hard and long on each item.

“Those are of a – uh, sharing nature.”

“I'm aware of that, but that’s not how things work with me. Either you want me exclusively or you don’t. I’m not going to be with somebody who thinks it’s okay to fuck around just because they can’t get in my pants when they want to.”

Thor huffed in frustration. “You think it is an excuse to – pressure you into bed with me. Is that all you see? Can you not understand the demanding physiology I sport?”

“I don’t get it. I have to admit that. If a human guy were to tell me that, I’d laugh in his face and tell him not to let the door slam him in the ass on the way out. It’s considered a pick-up line here. A way to get a woman into bed.”

“Ah. I think I understand. It is viewed on your Earth as a negative, while on Asgard, it is an accepted practice, not merely an empty excuse as it seems to be used by the male population where you reside.”

“Yeah, something like that. To be fair, some women do it too, but I think it's primarily guys that use it.”

Jane finally ran out of dishes, counters, tables, and appliances to clean, and she felt wrung out like the rag in her hand. She couldn’t meet Thor’s eyes, although they burned a hole right through her from across the room.

“I can’t do it,” she whispered, lips tight and tears stinging her eyes. “If we’re just – too different – so be it. I can’t compromise my morals by giving in to you when I’m not ready, and you’re telling me you’re going to cheat on me if I don’t.”

Thor walked towards her, and she tried to back away, but there was nowhere to go in the small, enclosed area. He crowded into her space, dipping his head to kiss her nose. “Is this farewell?”

Tears slipped onto her cheeks and rolled off her chin, Jane wiping them away angrily. “I don’t know. I guess – if you do decide you NEED to fuck around, then yeah. I’m going to have to let you go.”

“I will not stray, my lovely. I beg of you, please, for the sake of our relationship and my sanity, do not wait too long, or I will be forced to take myself elsewhere to relieve my growing need.”

“I don’t believe you’re still pressuring me. Even after I told you what it means to me!”

Thor drew back, frowning now. “I am having a difficult time processing your obsessive need to cling to old-fashioned ideas. Perhaps – perhaps we need to re-think our union.”

“Yeah, I guess. If that’s what you want.”

“It is not.”

“Well, Thor, I don’t know then! Fucking make up your mind!”

Now it was the Thunder God’s turn to tighten his lips in anger. Her words stung, flinging his honesty back in his face. Sometimes he swore Lady Jane was purposely dense and stubborn just to make a point. Studying her intently for a moment, he reached a decision and turned from her, simply gathered his zip-up hoodie, hammer, and a bottle of water, bowing to Jane and striding towards the door.

He expected her to run after him, at the very least tell him she needed him, wanted him. If she did, he would stay, give in to her unreasonable demands, even if it did cost him his sanity. Yet she did nothing, staring listlessly into space. He stood there a full minute, sadly looking at the back of her head.

A soft, “Farewell, Jane Foster,” slipped from his mouth, and the door clicked shut behind him.

Thor Odinson had just broken up with Jane Foster; and – she had let him.

It didn’t help that Darcy came dancing through the door five minutes later, flinging bags of groceries and junk food onto the clean table. “Hiya! I got some extra treats; we can have a movie night – Hey! Thanks for cleaning up my mess! I know it’s usually me cleaning up after you, so that’s pretty cool." Darcy slowed her one-woman string of excited chatter, looking around carefully before turning to Jane. "Where’s Thor?”

Darcy then noticed Jane was as still as a statue, her shoulders shaking in silent sobs.

“Fuck! What happened! Did he have to go? Is there like some nasty thing invading the planet or rampaging around the universe that he had to go kill?”

She took Jane by the shoulders and turned her around. “Talk to me, girlfriend! What’s the 911?”

Jane finally took a deep, shuddering sigh, ceasing her sobs long enough to wail, “Thor broke up with me!” and launched herself into Darcy’s shocked arms.

“Well, fuck a duck,” was all Darcy could say. This wasn’t looking good for her getting laid by a friend of the handsome Asgardian’s if he wasn’t going to be around anymore. There went that imaginary lay.

“Come on. I got ice cream.”

A/N: I am re-editing this, as I re-read I noticed I missed quite a few little things that needed cleaning up even after I ran it through my editing process twice. There have been no major changes, just spelling and punctuation errors, as well as cleaning up some dialogue. Thank you for reading! Please review, I LOVE hearing your thoughts! Thank you to Grammarly for saving my butt!


	2. A Lesson in Asgardian Male Physiology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor is one smooth-talking sonofabitch. It's all true though.

Darcy woke up at 2 am, the T.V. showing some horrible infomercial and Jane snoring unflatteringly on her lap. Snotty tissues lay thrown all over, two empty pints of Ben & Jerry’s and dirty spoons, and a variety of pop containers. It was pretty gross. Darcy loved it. Well, not the breaking up part, but the messy part. It was fun to help Jane ‘let her hair down’ occasionally, even if it were only when her boss’s emotions were in the gutter.

Shaking the drowsy scientist awake, the ladies stumbled to their respective beds. It kind of sucked using their apartment as a workspace office, but it was cheaper than the rip-roaring, soul-sucking rentals of a downtown Manhattan office. Avengers Tower was okay for Jane, but neither woman liked the overly testosterone-fueled environment or sterile bearings of the building. It was too – superhero-y. If that made sense.

Of course, Jane complained non-stop the following day about Darcy being a pig, ignoring the fact that half the mess, well, most of it, was Jane’s own. Darcy didn’t mind, because Jane seemed to be in better spirits, having gotten the ‘fuck all men’ declaration and especially ‘fuck all Asgardian Gods who feel like it’s their right to fuck whenever and whomever they please with impunity,’ rant, out of her system. 

Darcy understood that wasn’t quite the case, but let it drop. It wasn’t her demon to wrestle with.

The back and forth bitching banter ended when Jane realized she had to go to the Tower to get some paperwork if she wanted to work from home that day. Darcy groaned at the pleading look in her friend’s eyes.

“No, Jane! Just, no! I am NOT going to be your go-pher just because you don’t want to risk talking to Thor!”

“What if I run into him? It’ll be so awkward; I won’t know what to say!”

“Janey, you’ve practically dry-humped a Norse god over a thousand years old, argued with him, slapped him, made up with him, and you can’t even talk to him? No wonder he walked out.” She folded her arms stubbornly.

“Low blow, sister!” Jane retorted, shaking a finger but losing steam quickly. “I just… it’s too raw. I mean, somewhere inside, I knew this was too good to be true, but you know what? It’s okay. I just need a few days to… get past the shock.”

“Only a few days?” Darcy asked incredulously, gaping at her crazy friend.

“Well, yeah. How long is it supposed to take? I never needed more than a week to get over a guy.”

“Then, I hate to tell you this, but you’re not really in love with him if you can just put him out of your mind like that.”

“Don’t tell me what I feel, Darcy! I – I – feel like the world is going to crumble out from beneath my feet. I want to cry into another quart of ice cream until I puke. I – it’s going to be hard. So hard.”

Darcy’s eyes softened, but she remained firm. “Yeah. You’ll feel that way for a few days, but then you’ll be ready to move on.”

“Well, yeah.” Jane gestured uselessly. “Look. I know I’m different from the rest of the world. It’s how I operate. I can’t spend my life crying over a man.”

“Aaaaannddd _this_ is why you’re single.”

“You’re just jealous I had a God as a boyfriend.”

The two women stared at each other for long moments, Darcy’s eye twitching, her hands forming into fists that Jane was starting to realize were HER fault in causing them to form since they were not that way in the first place.

“Oh, shit. I’m so sorry, Darcy! I didn’t mean it!”

“Get off it, Janey. Yeah, you did. You always say what you’re thinking when it’s just us.”

“Fuck. I – I really am sorry, please don’t be mad at me.”

The waterworks started up again, and Darcy sighed, her anger bleeding from her like a slit artery. “Come here, you big brain.”

The two women hugged. “You’re right. I was jealous. This is your only warning; he's free meat now. Don’t get mad when I bring him home,” Darcy teased, half-joking, half-not. 

Jane pulled back, scandalized, hissing, “You wouldn’t dare! That’s just – that’s not right!”

“Hey! I’ll wait a few days, that’s all it’s going to take, right?”

Jane realized then Darcy was teasing her and swatted the dorky intern. “You really had me going there. Please? I just – need time to wrap my head around this. Then I can go back to the tower myself, and it won’t be a problem.”

Darcy huffed again but caved. She couldn’t say no to Jane when she begged. “Alright. But if tall, blond and buff hits on me, I’m not saying no.”

This time she was serious, and Jane heard the note in her voice – haha but not. She didn’t meet her eyes. “Just… don’t tell me about it, okay? Do me a favor? Please don’t bring him over here.”

“I won’t.”

Darcy took off, and Jane heaved a sigh of relief. She wasn’t sure whether the little happy jump in her mood was due to the fact Darcy was running her errand, or that her best friend would take her man problem off her hands… there was work to do. No, it was definitely a relief. She hadn’t realized Thor was a burden to her plans until they’d had their argument, and Darcy had pretty much said she would fuck Jane's ex-boyfriend, and it didn’t bother the scientist as much as it should. Probably.

Maybe her intern was right? Jane didn’t know what love was, and if that was the case, Jane didn’t feel like she was missing out on much.

With a spritzy little skip in her step, Science!Jane got to work on a new computer model of hot-off-the-press astronomical data from the Asgardian skyline. Her attention was glued to the screen for the rest of the day, not even noticing Darcy hadn’t returned, nor did she return as Jane worked late into the night before collapsing mindlessly into bed face-first.

==

The skyline from the Tower was always magnificent. The view from the roof’s edge was even more so, and there was a sweet edgy rush when the wind gusted at your back, threatening to send you reeling a billion stories below to turn you into a Darcy pancake.

Which was how Thor found her that evening, the girl dangling her legs and leaning forward, whistling off-key while tinny sound blared from her iPod earbuds.

It was a good thing he caught hold of her before he seated himself, or she would have jumped in fright right off the edge. Ripping out her earbuds, she smacked his shoulder, annoyed.

“Fuck it all, Thor! Are you trying to kill me?”

He smirked, amused at her reaction. It was so easy to bait the females, although he did little more than tease most of the time.

“No. It appeared as if you were contemplating that yourself, however.”

“Me? Hack myself off the mortal coil? I’m too chicken shit to do that. If I really wanted to die, I’d go like, wave a gun around at the cops or something. They’d shoot me dead, real quick.”

“That does not sound like a reasonable solution to seeking out a successful escape from one’s problems, little one,” he said back, unconcerned. He was used to her bald, if sometimes crude, manner of speaking.

Her legs swung back and forth, and he copied her, causing her to crack a grin. Side-eying the girl, he nudged her with an elbow. “I knew there was my Darcy in there somewhere. Has she been hiding on the rooftop all day?”

The same smile slid from Darcy’s face into a sad little frown. “Nah. Just most of it. Janey sent me to get some paperwork she needed but, I needed time to think. She must not need it that badly, my cell’s been silent as a tomb all day.”

“Ah. Have you quarreled with Lady Jane?” Thor asked, a hint of inquiry in his voice that sounded suspiciously like mining for information.

Darcy gave him the digs. “What? Hell no. Me and Janey are tight. We did the whole, ‘cry into ice cream, watch shitty old movies and fall asleep on each other last night after agreeing what total dickheads men are’, routine.”

“You commiserated with her, to enable her to feel better about our breakup,” Thor clarified, and Darcy shrugged.

“Yeah, I guess you could put it like that.”

Thor’s big muscley arm wrapped tightly around Darcy’s smaller frame. “You are a true and good friend, Lady Darcy Lewis. I am proud to count you among mine own.”

“Uh, thanks, big guy. You know what? I’m getting kinda cold. Would you mind, um, if I just stayed under your arm like this for a bit? I’m not ready to go in yet.”

“Aye. Of course. What are friends for?”

_‘Yeah, friends,’_ Darcy thought glumly but cheered up a smidge. She doubted there were any other girls in the state cuddled up to a hunk of Norse God on a billionaire’s rooftop watching the lights and traffic.

Of course, Thor’s body was like a goddamn oven in summer. It felt so lovely against her chilled skin, she decided to go with it. No, she could fantasize about her best friend’s man – well, ex - but that was a line you didn’t cross. Probably. Usually. Even if Janey said it wouldn’t bother her, Darcy knew it would. She didn’t want to risk alienating her best friend and employer. Being homeless sucked. Darcy didn’t have any other friends other than the Avengers, Jane, Eric and a few SHIELD minions.

Snuggling in a little deeper, she cheered a bit. No one had forbidden her from hanging with Thor, though, and he seemed to enjoy her company, continuing to fish for information on Jane now and again. How sad he looked when she told him Jane was already starting to get over him, and he confessed he had loved her, but maybe not as deeply as he thought he had and needed to ponder how their status had unraveled so quickly and easily.

As far as Darcy was concerned, Thor and Jane had never been that compatible in the first place, but hey. To each their own, right?

The hour grew late, but the road was ever busy, the lights and traffic and people never ceasing. New York. The city that never sleeps. It did live up to its name.

Thor prodded a drowsy Darcy off her rooftop perch, helping her stand and guiding her back into the stirring warmth of the Tower.

“Thanks, Thor. I guess I should get back to the apartment. Janey might be worried.”

“Has she called upon your mobile telephonic device?” he asked, indicating her cheapy flip phone by mimicking opening it and holding it to his ear.

“My cell? Nope. Not a peep.”

“Then she is deep into her research,” he confirmed with a familiar nod.

“Yeah. Probably. Hey, I appreciate you spending some time with me. I was feeling kinda down in the dumps, but I’m better.”

“Perhaps you should stay at the Tower for the night? I do not like the rough edge of your neighborhood at this hour.”

“I’ve got Mr. Taser, remember?” she asked, and Thor flinched when she pulled it out, but quickly tried to hide his reaction, but Darcy had already caught it, grinning with a smug little quirk of her lips.

“Yes, all too well,” he conceded. “Still. I would be remiss in not offering you lodging.”

“Where am I gonna sleep? In the lounge?”

“If you wish. There are accommodations for guests as well.”

“Nah. I’ll take a hard pass. Those rooms smell like an old people’s home.”

“Your planet’s elderly smell of friend Stark’s guest bedrooms?” he asked, cocking his head to the side.

“Trust me. You don’t want to know,” she shot back, now at the split in the elevator levels to take her to the main floor, and Thor to depart for his own rooms.

“Well, goodnight, I guess. See you around.”

“Yes, Lady Darcy. I will see you very soon, I hope.”

It wasn’t just her imagination that his eyes looked a little disappointed as he held onto her fingertips until the elevator threatened to smash them between, that last sliver of him showing her his blond head turning away.

Damn. She hadn't meant to hurt his feelings. Dammit. Dammit.

“Fine, let down the God of Thunder, who just comforted you for hours, why don’t you, Darcy?!” she scolded herself, then re-opened the elevator doors, shouting softly down the hallway, “Thor! Hey, Thor!”

He was just opening the door to his rooms, and did he look just a little too happy to see her, just now that she was coming back?

She was sure when she caught up to him.

“Did you require further assistance?” he asked politely, still with one hand on the doorknob.

“Um, yeah. If it wouldn’t be too much trouble, I’d like to stay here. I changed my mind. Too tired to catch a cab.”

“As you wish. I will help you procure extra linens and bed clothing for your stay.”

Darcy caught his arm and caught her teeth in her lower lip. “Um. I was kind of hoping I could – stay - with – you?” she stretched out, standing on her tiptoes at the end, along with her voice pitching up the scale in a parody of an unsure question.

Thor seemed to study her for a time, those baby blues intense in their scrutiny. His large hand left the door handle and placed it over her petite one, dwarfing it completely. That sexy as sin timbre dropped low, and he said, “Are you sure? Is this what you want, Lady?”

“Want? Um, yeah. I need a place to stay. I’d rather not sleep out in the public areas.”

“You prefer my private chambers?” he continued earnestly, eyes flicking back and forth over her features as if searching for something.

Darcy was getting the feeling they were talking about two completely different things. As much as the saddle between her thighs disagreed, she started to back away an inch at a time, that promise she’d made about not jumping her best friends’ boyfriend coming to the fore. Damn conscience.

“On second thought I’m just going to – um – catch that cab. I don’t want to be a bother.”

Thor’s steady grip did not let go of her hand, and she looked at it meaningfully, trying to tug it out of his grasp, but he held her more tightly.

“I do not think that is what you truly desire, Lady Lewis,” that sinfully panty-wetting baritone lured her, opening the door and starting to pull her in.

“Maybe… I can just crash for a couple of hours on the floor then,” she hedged, reluctantly allowing the God to pull her into his private apartment and close the door, locking it, deliberately slowly, behind them.

It was dark in the room, except for the pale moon and city lights casting a dim glow over the living area and open kitchen. That firm hand caressed the back of her own with a steady thumb, gently smoothing the skin back and forth. It was relaxing and arousing. “Your skin is soft, like a newly born infant,” he told her, continuing to stand there, making her feel even more uncomfortable. “I’ve never felt such delicate flesh encasing a superb specimen of feminine glory.”

The intensity of his presence alone was insane. Now Darcy was starting to get a taste of what she thought Jane had felt, that overwhelming, larger than life _‘oh shit is this really happening to me’_ feeling. She fucking loved it, when Jane had hated it. Oh, Janey had loved it at first but felt stifled by it after that, because it never ceased, always crowding her, Jane had complained.

Darcy felt like this guy could crowd her right off the fucking planet, and she’d let him until the end of time.

“Uh, thanks?” she squeaked out, and Thor chuckled, low and rumbling deep in his chest. Then he let her hand go, and she felt a twinge of disappointment.

“No guest of mine sleeps on the floor, my Lady. I have a perfectly good bed in my private chamber.”

“You don’t have a guest room, do you?” she asked, and he indicated to the negative with a grunt.

“I was not anticipating entertaining overnight guests that – would require separate sleeping arrangements,” he told her, and she now heard the massive, flirting hint in his voice. Was he fucking serious?

“Your couch is pretty comfortable,” she replied, trying to keep the tone light and fun by plopping her bubble butt onto it, bouncing a little bit. “Oh, hey! Yeah! This is great! I should get Janey to spring for one of these at our place. Would sure beat that eyesore the neighbor dragged over when he moved out.”

Thor didn’t answer but instead sat right next to her. Like. RIGHT next to her. Body to body.

“My Lady. I sense that you are forestalling me. Am I correct in interpreting you do not wish to share my bed?” he asked candidly, and just like that, he dropped the other shoe.

_'Way to go, big guy,'_ she mused. _'Nothing like getting straight to the point.'_

“That’s a tough question to answer,” she evaded, scooching over a tiny bit away from him, but he closed the distance immediately.

“It is not. You either do or do not. Please, the hour is late, and we are both weary. Perhaps a bit of sport is in order if you wish to partake with me.”

“Like, go down to the gym and spar?” she asked, knowing full well what the hell he was asking her, and it was starting to freak her out.

“No,” he told her plainly. “Bedsport. You are a lovely lady, and I wish to share my bed with you this night if it pleases you.”

“See, that’s kind of the problem. You like, JUST broke up with my best friend yesterday, and now you’re trying to get into my pants.”

“I do not see the problem. I am single, am I not? No attachments are binding me to the Lady Jane any longer, and you told me she would and is getting over me very quickly. I have heard a saying from my friend Clint. He has said many times, “If you fall off the horse, you get right back up on it and ride on.” I would like to employ that euphemism now, with you.”

“But Janey’s my best friend! If she finds out I slept with you, she’ll hate me!”

“Then you do not need to tell her,” Thor told her plainly.

“Wait. So, you’re like, telling me you want to fuck me, just for one night, and to keep it a secret from Jane?”

Thor seemed puzzled by the continued length of the discussion but shrugged. “Yes. That is one way to express it.”

“God. I don’t know if I can. I would feel awful.”

“Why is this? Why must you feel guilty for a relationship that has ended between Jane and I, of which you and I are now free to explore?”

“Relationship? Oh, hell, slow the fuck down. We haven’t even made it to bed yet!”

“Is that an affirmative? You wish to share my bed with me?” he laughed, teasing her now.

_'Oh man, why don’t you dig yourself a deeper hole, Darcy!'_

She slumped into him. “Oh, what the hell. Yeah. Jesus Christ. What woman wouldn’t want you? You’re the sexiest fucking man I’ve ever seen in my entire life, and that’s including the other Avengers. They’re all pretty fuckin’ hot too.”

Thor seemed to puff up even more with pride if that were possible, and his arm wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her into his toasty side. “You are – also ‘hot,’ little Darcy,” he rumbled. “Do not mistake me. I enjoy all forms of female; Large, small, tall, or short. Thin, heavy, curvy and the rest of them. It matters not. I do not lust after those I am not beholden to unless I and they are unattached, as I am currently. As I relayed to my- to Jane – when we quarreled yesterday, an Asgardian male has needs – not in the way she explained as a pick-up line from one of your Midgardian males – but an honest need to copulate with someone or his mind becomes, shall we say, distracted in ways he cannot afford to be.”

Darcy was fascinated. Jane hadn’t told her that! “What if no one is around? Or you’re hurt? Or like, your wiener can’t get it up anymore?”

“Then, of course, that is not of the utmost importance, but Asgardians have helped seed this universe. There is a little bit of Asgardian blood in many races, much as there is Neanderthal running through the veins of the Midgardian population.”

Darcy was impressed Thor knew about ancient human life and origins. Rockin’.

“When an Asgardian – male or female – is near others, an innate instinct to join – to breed -to further the species of the heavens – manifests itself, although not all of the time, of course. The need manifests more often in some than in others. My own need is great. The sensation of denial can become quite uncomfortable if you do not heed it’s call, much as one of your kind denying slumber for many days. You can no longer think sensibly.”

“If you guys have to fuck all the time, why aren’t there more kids running around?” she wondered, forgetting her earlier shyness and opening up to his warm explanations. She could deal with a talking Thor. For now.

“We have our methods for regulating procreation, my dear. They are not the same as your Earth counterparts. A God such as I can simply employ thought. If I do not will offspring to come of my seed, it cannot be obtained by force unless one were to dissect my body. That, as you know, would be exceedingly difficult to perform on a strong specimen such as I.”

“Yeah. You’re tough as nails. Pretty awesome.”

“Thank you. So you see, when the Lady Jane and I quarreled, it was about her belief I was pressuring her into having sex. I was merely trying to explain to her what I’ve just shared with you. We are of two entirely differing mindsets, it seems. Incompatible, as much as I wish it were the opposite.”

“You really did care for her,” Darcy whispered.

“I do. I shall always carry a piece of her in my heart, as I do every Lady or Lord I have courted, of which there have been many.”

Darcy could not keep a straight face. She busted out giggling, then turned into a full-fledged belly laugh, holding her stomach. When she looked up at Thor, he had a faintly amused, indulgent smile on his face, his features cast in monochrome lights and shadow. He was beautiful.

Her laughter faded as she got caught up in his sensuality. Thor didn’t even need to try. He was so simple. Unguarded. Things just – were what they were – there wasn’t a hidden agenda or reach around. What you saw is what you got. How refreshing. Well, if he just wanted a tumble, and she had an itch to scratch, it couldn’t hurt. Janey didn’t need to know right away. It wasn’t like Darcy planned on continuing to keep fucking the dude. Hell, he could have any chick he wanted, and there were far hotter women running around New York than her frumpy self!

Darcy figured he was horny, she was female, familiar and available, if a bit hesitant, so why not snag the nearest free piece of pussy, looking at it from his point of view? She had to hand it to him. He’d pretty much talked his way into getting her to drop her panties.


	3. Bow Chicka Wow Wow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Darcy get it on, part one.

(Takes the mic, giving the DJ a withering glare when it squeals horribly, making the audience cringe.) (Clearing Voice). "Ahem. This one goes out to all you horny bastards out there. You know who you are. Get settled, get ready, and enjoy the show. Part One." (Takes a seat to polite applause).

“Alright. How do you want to do this?” Darcy asked boldly and let out a soft shout when Thor's expression turned from slightly amused to predatory in the blink of an eye.

“Exactly. Like. This.” He bodily lifted her until she was straddling his lap. The Thunderer leaned against the couch cushions, pulling her up over his chest until his lips met hers, softly joining and retreating, back and forth, searching for her willingness with his eyes and lips.

Darcy took off her glasses and flung them somewhere to her right, wincing when they clattered over a table and onto the floor. Thor managed to erase any concern from her mind she'd had prior to their coming together the moment when he pulled her head forward in a scorching kiss that had her toes curling. Janey didn’t want to fuck this? Her loss. Damn, what a beautiful piece of flesh this dude was. He was all hers for the rest of the night. Yum.

She ignored her tired body and wrapped her arms around his neck, going for the kill, slipping her tongue into his mouth, and cheering inwardly when he groaned deeply, returning the favor with his own. They sat French kissing for a long while, hands running up and down each other’s arms, around necks, though hair and holding onto faces, even holding one another’s hands, lips locked. When they finally came up for air, Darcy could feel an impressively thick bulge under her bum. The Norse God under her was panting as if he’d been in a marathon.

“My Lady. It has been far too long since I’ve indulged in carnal pursuits. I can no longer wait. If you wish this, I must have you. I can show you tenderness after and make love to you as many times as you wish, but this first coupling will be uncomfortable for you. Please, my Lady. Please let me pleasure you. I want nothing more than to sink into your wet, tight sleeve and fuck you until I come deep inside of your quivering pussy.”

Hearing Thor says the word pussy sent a gush of liquid rolling from her, and she gasped. “Oh, fuck, yeah. I want you. More than anything. Let’s um, get naked.”

The saucy minx sprang from his lap like a rocket, much to the Thunderer’s surprise, stripping quickly as she high-tailed it to his bedroom. Never a slouch, he leaped after her, shucking clothes in record time, then helped with hers, wincing again at the sound of tearing cloth and ragged breathing, thick fingers groping her hips and pushing her naked body into his bed, towering over her.

“You have magnificent tits, my lady,” he told her, then proceeded to suckle them, tweaking and twisting, literally making love to them with his mouth.

Darcy squirmed, making exciting noises that aroused Thor even more. With a trembling hand, he sought out her treasure, slipping one finger between the lips of her cunt and letting out a long, low moan. “Oh, Lady Darcy. Is this for me?” he asked rhetorically, gliding effortlessly through the well of slick housed below.

The roughened pads of the Thunder God’s thick fingers drove Darcy hard and fast off a short, steep cliff. She screamed into his shoulder, the orgasm she’d been trying to rub out for days finally toppling her into an abyss of sensation so vast it seemed never to end, and she realized he was now pushing two fingers into her cunt, grunting as he sucked her tit and rubbed her clit in tight circles with his thumb.

Holy. Fucking. Shit. Jane was insane in the membrane! (Insane in the brain!) Good god, she needed to stop thinking about Jane and quit channeling her inner Cypress Hill earworm. Focus, Darcy!

She came down, panting hard, and Thor pulled back, looking very smug in the low light. Darcy could feel a thick appendage hanging against her inner thigh as he ran his hands over her body, and Thor’s hovering presence was the answer to a prayer, he the supplicant and she the answer to everything, as he begged her (her!) to allow him to fuck her.

“My Lady. I am sorry. My skills as a lover are renowned, but I do you a great disservice by requesting entry into your sacred place. Please allow me to fuck you, Darcy. I shall go mad if I do not release my spend deep inside of you, very soon.”

How the hell could she say no to a plea like that? In all of her cheesy glory, Darcy grinned like a shark. “Come and get it, tiger, grrr!” and she made a little claw, pretending to rend the air.

Thor got the hint and grasped his cock – trunk – it felt more like – working himself up and through the impressive oil slick she’d created, her cream generously lubricating the tip of his shaft. All the while, Thor continued to aim his intensity into her skull, his eyeballs boring every part of his being into her psyche while he attempted to breach her entrance, working himself ever harder and then rasping in frustration. “Your passage is too small! My girth will tear you apart if I attempt to prise in further.”

He flopped over onto the other side of the bed, throwing a drama llama arm over his face, thick, long cock tight to his belly, beating to the pulse of his heart, huge and angry and swollen.

Darcy marveled at it out of the side-eye she was giving him, trying not to laugh and groan and sigh and yell all at the same time. Maybe guys WERE the same all over the galaxy. How fucking funny would it be if people knew Thor, Crown Prince of Asgard, was throwing a fit because he couldn’t get his cock into her?

Figuring she’d have to do as she always did and take the lead, Darcy simply gave in and climbed onto him, straddling his waist while rubbing her cunt up and down his length, playing with her tits.

Boy did that arm ever come down fast! Thor slammed his fists into the bed, nearly bucking her off in surprise. “Do not torture me with your wiles, woman!” he snarked, and she just shook her head at him.

“Shut the fuck up. I’m going to get this monster inside of me if it kills me. I’m so fucking horny I’d consider taking a horse up there if I thought it would help,” she blurted out, and Thor’s jaw just hung open in surprise.

“You would copulate with a stallion, truly?” he asked, sincerely taking her words at face value.

Darcy stopped, annoyed. “No, asshat! It’s an expression. It means I want your hot body, and you just need to lay back and enjoy the ride.”

“But what about –“

“Don’t worry about it. It’ll take some time, but I’ve taken a fist and some pretty big toys up there before. It’ll fit. It’s been a few months since I’ve gotten laid.”

“The men of Midgard did you no justice,” he murmured, settling back against the pillows, but reaching up to enjoy her tits and taking over tweaking them. A few other flights of fancy blew past his mind's eye, namely, his fist in her cunt. That would certainly be a sight to behold!

Darcy ran her hands up and down his finely chiseled torso as she continued to abrade his shaft with her mons, his pre-come leaking profusely and combining with her gushes of lubrication. Finally, she reached underneath, marveling at the man’s girth. Yup. It would be a tight fit, but damn, it would be worth it.

“Thor. Finger me,” she encouraged him breathily, dropping his dick and pulling one of his hands under her, then leaning forward to kiss the living daylights out of the God below her.

Obeying like a champ, Thor lubed up and then penetrated her with one finger, working it slowly in and out, panting into her mouth and locking lips with her, trading slippery tangles of the tongue as he ran the edge of his hand over her clit on the uptake.

“Oh, shit, babe. Keep that up, and I’m going to fucking squirt like a goddamn octopus.”

“Yes, Lady. Gift me with your sublime arousal. I shall cherish every drop of it.”

Damn those Asgardians knew how to talk to a girl!

“Two,” she whispered, and without missing a beat, a second joined the first, and the stretch was already there, stinging her tender flesh. “Easy, easy,” she moaned, and he slowed down, clearly wrestling with the delay, but aching to please her in every way.

After an interminable delay, Darcy shuddered, on the edge of another mind-blowing climax. “Thr-three!” she cried out and reared back as a third finger smushed it’s way inside, grinding easily into her as she delivered as promised, gushing profusely in a river so sweet he withdrew his hand when her body finally calmed, licking and suckling every inch of his appendages and placed his cock back at her entrance.

“Whoa! Give me a minute. Just a sec, okay? Let me calm down.”

Thor nodded, tense, but obeyed, ever the gentleman, even when at the very limit of his patience.

Trailing her fingertips up his sweaty chest, she nodded back, giving him the green light. “Okay. I think I can take it now.”

“Thank the Norns!” he gasped, taking his leaking cock and holding it flush to her pussy’s mouth. Darcy’s legs were trembling, and she bit her lip. Thor hesitated, sensing something was wrong.

“Do you wish to switch positions?” he asked tightly and she nodded, squealing when he flipped her. Thor was unable to wait any longer, Darcy enduring the mind-numbing stretch of his cock-head as he slipped it inside her, keeping just the tip there, breathing heavily, bits of electricity sparking off the tips of his fingers and ends of his hair.

“I am going to fuck you so deeply into this mattress we will meld with it,” he growled at her, belying his words with the slowness and gentle care he took entering her. Boy did she appreciate it because she had underestimated how long it would take her to accommodate him. His cock was, by far, the most substantial thing she’d ever attempted to put in her cunt. But if a baby could get pushed out, his dick could get pushed in, so she endured, gritting her teeth and nodding as he slid in inch by excruciating inch.

At long fucking last, his pelvis lay flush with hers, heavy balls resting against the crack of her ass, and the Asgardian God let out the most profound, sexy sound she’d ever heard in her life.

“You will be the death of me this night, Darcy Lewis. I am at your feet.”

She took that to mean he appreciated where they were joined, and she thrust her hips to get him moving. After that, he turned into a fiery whirlwind, pushing her thighs up and bracing her knees over his forearms, stretching her wide, leaning back slightly so he could see himself pull out and push back in, thick ribbons of her cream decorating his shaft.

“Oh, Lady. Oh, my sweet Lady,” he breathed, clearly enjoying the view. When she couldn’t hold back any longer, another slow, rolling orgasm flowed through her, and she cried out softly, gushing again along his length.

Thor lost it.

“Darcy!” he shouted, bracing himself above her and bowing his head, powerful hips beginning to piston into her with precision and ease, their bodies a well-oiled machine doing what they were meant to do, and do it well.

All she could do was hold on for dear life. Now she understood why Jane had been afraid. It would definitely take a strong woman to embrace this level of madness, and Darcy thanked the stars she was of that ilk. Thor would have killed her mentor with that beast swinging between his legs.

Darcy thought with glee, that he could kill her with it, and she would beg for more. Too bad it was only for one night.

Further thought took flight as he doubled the pace, pouring it on like a freight train, the bed rocking dangerously against the wall, the plaster beginning to crack.

Darcy screamed and clamped down on his organ once more, the speed and size and force of him ripping the pleasure from her, tearing every drop of lubrication out of her and onto his battering ram of a cock.

Thor gave that great, gasping sound again, sweat streaming off of his body in a river as he lowered and desperately took her mouth, moaning and growling into her skin as his hips stuttered, giving short, powerful thrusts until he let out a roar next to her ear and jammed himself as tightly to her as he could, spurting in hot jets up against her cervix, the orgasm seeming to last forever. 

She tracked her hands lightly up and down his heavily muscled arms, slowly feeling them relax under her, and he moved again to kiss her, more tenderly this time, seeming utterly spent and exhausted, if it were possible.

It definitely felt like a baseball bat was pulled out of her, leaving her gaping and sore, their mingled spend flowing in a rivulet down her ass crack and onto the bed.

Thor gingerly pulled himself to her side, releasing her cramping legs. Darcy had no idea how she was going to walk for three days. If that was the price for fucking a God, so be it. Once in a lifetime, bitches.

Despite their state of hygiene, or rather, lack of it, the two were both extremely tired and spent. Thor rubbed circles around her navel in the sweat until it cooled, then covered her with the light sheet of the bed. Thankfully he didn’t crowd her, simply lay on his back and succumbed to the sandman as quickly as she, not realizing the damage they had caused to the poor bed and wall.


	4. Round Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much what it says on the tin.

I didn't want to keep your masturbatory fantasies from being interrupted, so here is part two. Enjoy.

Sometime during the night, Thor slowly roused her with his mouth, gently spreading her legs as he tenderly licked, sucked and teasingly bit the insides of her thighs, his pinky fingering her cunt, the index and middle fingers holding her lips open to tease at her clit.

Darcy stretched like a cat and moaned. _GOD,_ she felt so good, so stretched out, and knew she would be sore come daylight. Anything that happened between her and Thor would be worth it, she told herself.

Allowing him to ease the sting of his earlier penetration, it didn’t take her long to bury her fingertips in his shaggy head, enjoying the sound of his horny humming, working magic on her sacred places until she gasped softly, pressing him into her cunt, trembling as she gushed over his mouth.

Thor licked her through it, savoring their combined, unique flavoring until she had come down, then climbed her, one leg on either side of her torso. Moonlight fell softly, slanted across his silhouette, and she could see the faint glitter of static arcing in the depths of his eyes. Darcy expected him to fuck her, but instead, he inched forward, then tapped the tip of his cock against her mouth.

“Will you do me the honor, my Lady?” he rumbled, and how could she say no?

With a sigh, she opened, bracing herself for the taste of dried sex. To her pleasant surprise, Thor appeared to have cleaned himself while she slept, and she enthusiastically opened wider, knowing it wouldn’t take long for her jaw to ache.

As if able to read her mind, Thor assured her, “I will be gentle. Pleasure my organ, Darcy. Make it ripe and full and hard, so I may make sweet, treasured love to your lovely body.”

She moaned around the head and pulled at his hips. Bracing himself, Thor pushed in, very careful not to overwhelm her. The feel of her plush lips sliding over him sent a deep shiver up his spine, and he could already feel a warning pulse in his balls. _“Ye Gods!_ What you do to me, maiden!” he huffed, eyes fluttering closed when her tongue worked in swirls around his fat cock head.

Darcy loved the way Thor’s muscles jumped and tightened with every swipe of her tongue, knowing this was one thing she was VERY good at. Despite the ache, she pushed herself on him more, barely a quarter of the way down his dick. Still, it was enough for the God, for every tendon in his neck stood out in stark relief, and she felt him start to pulse, readying herself for his release.

Even as he stuttered, seeming to come back into himself and realize he was still in her mouth, she anticipated his next move. She tightened her hands on his hips, digging in her nails and sucking hard on the tip as he shouted, “Ah! Darcy – no – yes! >i?Fuck!”

Gagging her, he couldn’t help but push in past her limit, sending a freshet of tears running continuously down her cheeks as she choked on his dick and come, pushing at him when he retreated, and she coughed violently, mucus, snot and come pouring from her nose.

In a slight panic, Thor pulled her up against his chest as he moved down the bed, slapping her heartily on the back and taking the bedsheet, wiping her face thoroughly until her coughing settled down to a sniffle and quiet sob, and at last, she laughed into his sweaty chest, uttering a gurgled, “Gross!”, and hopping out of his grasp to run to the bathroom.

Thor smirked and lay down on the bed, still hard, his cock temporarily sated but not nearly through with the saucy girl. He had _LOVED_ making her choke on his dick, and apparently, she hadn’t seemed to mind too much, although he had no intention of genuinely harming his friend.

The blond giant heard the shower start and smirked to himself. Giving her a head start, he decided to strip the bed and change the soiled sheets, flipping on a toppled bedside lamp to discover the damage they’d done to the bed and the room in general. Taking this as a sign of a very successful fucking, Thor puffed his chest out a bit proudly, then resumed re-making the bed and hurried in to catch the tail-end of Darcy’s shower.

For his size, Thor could be very quiet when he wanted to be. When he flung the shower curtain aside, Darcy shrieked, almost slipping in her surprise at Thor’s sudden attack and he caught her quickly, lifting her naked and soapy body, tucking her under one arm and ignoring her indignant shouts to _‘put her down this instant or I’ll spit roast you with your brother’,_ which he cocked an ear out because it sounded quite exciting. He knew he needed to search on The All-Seeing Google for that phrase. Rinsing the lovely lady quickly, then proceeding to shut off the water, he dashed into the bedroom and dumped her on the bed, trapping her ankles when she tried kicking him.

“Hush now! I simply wish to further the bedsport festivities, dearest Darcy! You have cleaned yourself for me, now we can truly begin!”

Darcy stopped struggling and just gaped at Thor, starting to shiver in the cooler air of the room as he clambered up her body, bracing himself on powerful forearms above her. “What say you, Lady Darcy?” he asked, leaning in to kiss, then lick at her lips, small, chaste pecks that doused the fires of her resentment until he’d lit a new flame.

“I – uh – I – yeah. Okay.” _‘Real eloquent,’_ she sneered internally. Still, Thor didn’t seem to mind, and he nipped at her further, along her jawbone, down her neck, over the shoulder, and over to a breast, pulling it lightly into his mouth to suck and lave at the hardened bud.

“Oh, God, Thor!” she sighed, tangling her fingers in his hair. Darcy HAD planned on getting something to eat and going back to bed, but it seemed the shaggy God of Thunder wouldn’t be denied. Despite the achy protests of her already-overworked muscles, she began responding beautifully, running her fingertips from his head, over his shoulders, and down his sculpted, muscular arms, coming up to twine her fingers in his, arching into his mouth as he transferred from one breast to another, never seeming to get enough of her.

Thor was fucking amazing. His greedy cock ached, ball sac still heavy, but he ignored that part of his anatomy in favor of worshipping the Lady’s body, licking the droplets of water from her skin, leaving a cooling, scorching path of nips and kisses in his wake. With deep rumbles emanating from his chest, Thor start sucking little bites onto her skin in random places, down her legs, rolling her over and squeezing her buns, burying his nose between her cheeky backside as she squealed, licking at her tight pucker before he slid a long finger into her cunt, slowly, working her to a state of shameful slick, then transferred that finger to her ass, just letting the tip in, corkscrewing until it disappeared entirely up to the third knuckle.

All Darcy could do was pant through it, gripping the bedsheets as she simultaneously wanted to get away from him as well as back into him. “Thor!” she cried out again, and he sucked hickies up her back, his beard scraping and scratching as he went until he was at her neck, still working his finger in and out of her asshole slowly.

“Tell me what you need, little Darcy,” he murmured, licking the shell of her ear. The rumble alone nearly had her coming, and she couldn’t take his teasing anymore.

“Fuck me!” she cried out, and he chuckled deeply.

“Oh, I will, little Darcy. For tonight, your sweet pussy is mine.”

Darcy didn’t care. He could have told her he was going to kill her afterward, and she might not have heard him for how much her cunt longed to clamp down around his impressive shaft.

“Present yourself,” he commanded her gently, helping by hefting her ass further into the air with one hand, then pushing her face and shoulders down onto the bed. “Stay. Yes, just like that. Oh, Sweet Norns!”

Slowly lubricating his dick in her newly-soaked cunt, he worked himself in again, finding it easier this time since he’d already been in there recently, but still hissing at how tight she was around his thick organ.

Darcy’s sweet cries and yelps spurred him on, and he felt another surge of terrible lust rage through him. It scared him, for he should not be exploring this level of want for another that was both fragile and mortal. Thor had not felt this illustrious tide of need for centuries singing in his veins like an Asgardian choir at a King’s crowning. It was as if Darcy Lewis were made for him, and his promise to remain gentle flew out the window with his sanity as he called out to her, as if she had a choice, “Darcy! I must fuck you again, ride your sweet, lovely body as I did the first time, my loins ache desperately!” 

“Fuck me hard, Thor, just do it!” she yelled at him, pushing herself back hard against his pelvis, instantly driving him mad as he pulled his finger out of her ass, grabbed both of her hips tightly so they both knew she would bruise beautifully and pulled her sweet cunt onto his dick. Choking out a scream, Darcy gushed over him.

There was a short period where Thor did not remember what he had done, as the lustful drive of the Gods swept over him in a torrent of need. A herd of Valkyrie's pegasi couldn’t have stopped him, he was sure, and when he came to, Darcy was limp on his cock, his pelvis soaked and her come running down between them copiously from pounding into her so hard. 

Thor fucked her deeply, and something in the furthest recesses of his mind registered he might be seriously hurting her, but try as he might, he couldn’t stop. The God allowed himself to finish, biting his own tongue in the effort not to shout the building down as he pulled out and pumped the final thick ropes of release over her back and bottom, only held up by his hand on her hip.

When he finished, he rubbed it in, then fell to the side tiredly, kissing Darcy’s shoulders. He poked at her, saying her name over and over again until she groggily woke and answered him.

“Wha-?” was all he got out of her, and he smiled.

“Are you alright? I seem to have lost my head for a bit.”

“I’ll say. I think you almost fucked me to death.”

That earned her a full-out laugh, and he big-spooned around her. “I am spent for the night if that is alright with you,” he told her, and she nodded.

“Mmkay. ‘Night.”

“Goodnight, my Lady.”

In no time at all, the filthy pair were out and didn’t wake or move until morning.


	5. A Little Bit of Everything but Ouch Too or “Shit Gets Real”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is always a price to pay the morning after. The week after. Ah Hel, the month after, when it's post-Thor sexytimes and you're not used to hittin' a literal God.

This is a longer chapter, and some of it isn't pleasant. I describe some icky things, so if you get squicked out, you might want to skim it with your eyes peeking out between your fingers covering your eyes. Honestly. I don't pull punches. Sexytimes comes with after times. It's just how it is. I don't gloss over that shit. There's also more sexy times :D...

Darcy literally crawled out of the God’s bed the next morning, eyes bleary with sleep and bladder screaming for the toilet. Thor slumbered on, snoring so loudly the windows would have rattled if they weren’t reinforced bullet-proof glass.

She gingerly hopped onto the cold porcelain, squinting and grunting for many minutes, huffing, turning on the water in the sink next to her to get her bladder going, and finally squeezing her urine out through her battered urethra, the burn, and sting causing her to hiss. Hot damn, the morning after sucked. She told herself it was worth it with a stubborn, resolute conviction.

Finally empty of urine, she crawled over to the bathtub, heaving herself inside, then doing her best to avoid the ice-cold water from the tap until it turned super hot, and then merely pleasantly hot, looking around for bathing supplies, snatching up the soap from the night before and rummaging for a towel. The water really hit the spot for her tortured muscles.

It was probably an hour later when she emptied the tub and finally braved standing, gritting her teeth again when muscles screamed, and every inch of her ached. Thor woke up when she reached the bed, gathering her clothing, and he gave her a sleepy smile.

“Good morning, little one,” he yawned, and she smiled tightly.

“Hi. Um. Last night was fun, but I gotta go. You know, Janey, work and stuff.”

Thor sat up, suddenly alert, and she did not like the look on his face, like a kicked puppy. “You do not wish to lay with me again?” he asked, acting like she was rejecting him permanently.

“Not right now!” she snapped. “My body feels like a truck ran over it a hundred times and then got pounded by the Hulk, set in concrete, left to dry and blown up with TNT. You tore me apart, and now I need to get put back together. Kapeesh?”

She pulled on the last of her clothing, sighing.

“I have hurt you,” Thor observed a bit sadly.

“Yeah, but damn, it was so good.”

At Darcy's admittance of her enjoyment, Thor’s entire body seemed to sag in relief. Had it been that important to him? It touched her in a way that was both sweet and sour.

“I will help you get home.”

“Nope! I’m good. I mean, I got it. I’m a big girl, I can get home under my own steam.”

“As you wish, my Lady,” he intoned, rising naked and delicious, fluids caked to his groin and uncaring as walked over to her side of the bed and knelt to kiss her, holding her head in his hands, forcing her to look him in the eye. “I only truly wished to bring you pleasure. Any distress you feel will remind you of my ardor for your loveliness, Lady Darcy. I am indebted to you for relieving great stress, the pressure of an awful sort, from my very body and soul. You’ve done me a great kindness.”

Her heart dropped. Whelp, he had told her it was like doing him a favor. What did she expect, flowers and roses? Nah. It was probably better this way. Now she had many, many nights to get herself off to the memories of his pounding body. When she was recovered, that is. And dammit. With all of the rubbing last night, Darcy suspected she was going to end up with a bladder infection.

Again.

_‘It was worth it, it was worth it, it was worth it,’_ she chanted internally, like the Little Engine That Could.

_‘You can do this, Darcy. One step at a time. Or, at least, one hobble at a time.’_

Thor kissed her again when she didn’t respond, pushed a wet curl behind her ear, placed her glasses on her face (How the fuck she forgot about those was a goddamn mystery. No wonder she couldn’t see fuck all!) and helped her up, showing her to the door and bidding her good morn.

To her surprise, it was still pretty early, the halls empty, and she thankfully didn’t run into any of the other Avengers.

\--

Darcy had no idea how she made it back to the apartment in one piece. It was a fact that every single motherfucking part of her body ached, was bruised, muscles pulled, or some other shit, kind of like her cramping uterus right now. Why the hell had she thought it a good idea to get fucked right before her goddamn period?

Sure enough, Ye Olde Bladder Infection reared its nasty head. Thank GOD (and not Thor) for online doctors, delivery people, Amazon one-hour delivery and grocery pick-up. Jane was puzzled by the parade of shipments but took it in stride, piling boxes in front of Darcy’s room and knocking, asking her if she needed anything.

Darcy’s excuse was she caught the flu or ate something disagreeable at a café’ she couldn’t remember the name of (naturally) and was going to be down for a couple of days. God forbid Jane see any part of her intern uncovered. She would know right away what the actual problem was. Or maybe not. Either way, Darcy wasn’t going to take that chance.

After probably over-dosing on Excedrin, ibuprofen and a muscle relaxer or five, the beaten girl finally managed to wrangle her packages into her room and blessed Janey for placing a handy-dandy box cutter on top, new blade and all.

Out came some expensive bath bombs, a tub of analgesic rub, and a small array of other items including a prescription to get rid of the fucking infection and another one to ease her cramps – lined up neatly at the foot of her bed, the pile of discarded Amazon boxes landing in the jungle of trash on the no man’s land of _‘The Other Side of The Bed.’_

Sinking into her private bath was probably the best motherfucking thing Darcy had felt in a long while, and she fell asleep in there. Twice. Changing the water until people pounded on the walls and told her to stop hogging the fucking hot water. Pricks.

==

One week; the amount of time it took Darcy to recover not only from Thor’s fuck-a-thon, but one of the worst periods she’d ever experienced, and the Bladder Infection From Hell, she needed a second round of antibiotics to rid herself of.

Two weeks was how long it took for the rest of the infection to clear up.

At three weeks Darcy finally didn’t feel like parts of her had been pulled apart and hastily stitched back together. She was even able to hit her aerobics class twice a week again.

She didn’t think it possible, but Thor had fucked the FUCK out of her, quite literally. There was not one inkling of desire for a repeat performance for quite some time, and she wondered if Thor cared that she hadn’t contacted him again, but remembered he hadn’t contacted _her,_ so really, a one-time thing was probably better for the both of them. It was easier to justify hiding a one-night-stand than an ongoing semi-sorta-kinda-but-not-really-affair from her boss.

\--

There was nothing left to do. Literally, nothing. Every note, scrap of paper, back of a napkin, hell, even the scribbled notes Jane left on the empty toilet paper roll in the bathroom of the apartment – all had been transcribed, filed, and cross-indexed. Now Darcy sat, tapping her fingers. Nothing on the television. Janey was spending a lot more time at the lab at Avengers Tower now that she needed more advanced equipment to work with. Stark had offered her a full-time gig, but she had turned it down, and Darcy nearly chewed Jane a new asshole. But of course, Janey was stubborn. Whatever Janey decided, Darcy was stuck with.

Damn, this day was boring as fuck-all.

Deciding to take the plunge, she decided to do some meddling. She invited herself to the Avengers tower with some lame excuse of tweaking some machinery or looking for something. It didn’t matter. All of the Avengers loved her and Janey, so it was rare they asked why she was there. For the most part, she had always had a real excuse to be there. I mean, she did now, but she wasn’t going to blurt out the fact she was going behind Janey’s back to butter up Stark.

Ad-libbing was her specialty.

Unfortunately, he was in his super-secret lab, and her clearance level wasn’t high enough to get in. Kicking her heels together to think of an excuse to get in there, she was startled when Thor grabbed her hips and pulled her back into his groin, growling, kissing the top of her curly head.

“Lady Darcy. Do you seek friend Anthony?”

He made the question sound accusatory, but Homey wasn’t playing that. One fuck and he was all territorial? Hell to the No. Besides, they weren't an item, and he even told her he could fuck whomever he pleased. In fact, she had no guarantee he hadn’t and ignored the slight twist in her heart at the thought, so she shoved it away.

“Yeah.”

“Hm. Well, I can help you into his domain, but I cannot promise sanctuary if you incur his wrath.”

Just as quickly, his little display of possessiveness disappeared, and he turned into Sweetheart Thor again. Putting his thumb to the fingerprint bio-scanner, he shot her a panty-melting smile and opened the door for her.

“I’m busy!” Tony shouted, Darcy rolling her eyes at Thor, who held the same cheesy grin, indicating, “Ladies first.”

“You’re so kind,” she snarked, but with care. Thor looked as if he were going to leave, but Darcy was feeling mischievous and snagged one of his meaty fingers in her grip, pulling him along. Of course, Thor could quickly leave if he so desired, but he followed her like a puppy on a lead.

“Hey, Tony!”

“I’m busy!” he shouted again. “FRIDAY? I thought I told you not to let anyone in here!?”

“That is incorrect, Mr. Stark. You asked me to keep out, ‘nosy, annoying assholes,’ specifically, and Darcy Lewis accompanied by Thor Odinson are not in your ‘Asshole file,’ sir.”

Darcy clapped one of her hands over her mouth, but Thor did no such thing, his laugh booming throughout the entire lab. With an irritated sigh, Tony slid off the welding mask, shoved whatever he was working on back onto his work desk with a noisy clatter, and walked quickly over to the pair, arms folded and eyes open fully and expectantly.

“Out with it. I’m not shittin’ you, I really do have a lot to do. So please try not to waste my time and make me add you to the Asshole folder.”

“I cannot believe you actually have an Asshole folder, you dork!” Darcy teased, then sobered up when Tony’s hands went on his hips. That meant Tony was one comment away from no longer listening to her.

“Okay, so here’s the lowdown. I know Janey turned down the job you offered her, but she hasn’t been able to talk about anything except the opportunity to work for you. I mean, she’s stubborn and an independent woman. Like, she’ll always do everything on her own until she’s worn herself to a nub.”

“Get to the point,” he told her.

“Okay. The point is, she wants the job. I think you just need to force her into it. Don’t give her a choice.”

“In my experience that doesn’t go down very well with career women, Little Bit,” Tony softened, leaning forward to rub the top of Darcy’s head with a noogie.

“Hey! Stop that! Okay, okay! You're right! I'm telling you though; she really does want the job. Please. Just think about it?”

Thor’s head was turning back and forth between them like a ping-pong ball. He interjected, “Are you sure you do not have an ulterior motive, Lady Darcy?” he asked, folding his own arms and staring intently at her with those puppy dog baby blues.

Aw, shit. Thor’s hidden superpower had her hanging her head in defeat. “Okay, yeah, fine, maybe I want better accommodations. I mean, the apartment’s okay, but damnit, I waste so much time traveling between here and there. It would really boost my productivity.” She bit her lip and pushed her weight outward, so it was balanced on the very outsides of her shoes.

“First of all, stop doing that, you’re going to break an ankle.”

Tony pulled her over to a stool and sat her on it. “Second, you’ve got my attention. I’m all about boosting productivity, so hit me.”

“With what?” Darcy looked around, and he pulled her chin back around.

“No, Darlin’. Hit me with how much more shit you can get accomplished. How is this forced relocation worth my time?”

“Ummm,” she hemmed, biting her lip and brain going blank.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Look, you’re a sweet kid. Still, the more civilians we have in the tower, the greater the risk, and I refuse to put you and Foster in unnecessary danger.”

“Yeah, like my neighborhood is free of danger,” she said under her breath, but he chose to ignore her snipe.

“My answer's gonna have to be-“

Thor held up one hand, surprising Tony when the Norse God stepped right into their shared space, forcing the Man of Iron to take a significant step back. “Yeah, big guy? Did you have something to add?”

“Yes.” Thor wasn’t looking at Stark, however, his gaze instead glued to Darcy’s, and Tony noticed her mouth parted slightly, that pink tongue coming out to wet her lips and a very soft moan escape her throat.

Well, hot damn. Gossip. Maybe it would be worth his time just to see the drama unfold.

“Lady Darcy is good for the morale of the team. When she is here, the mood in the tower picks up significantly. She has, on multiple occasions, dropped off food for the entire team and not sought recompense.”

“Shit. That true? Seriously. I’ve got an expense account for that. Save your dough.”

“I just wanted to do something nice, you know, for all you’ve done for Janey and me,” she shrugged, her voice soft and a little shy for once.

“She is selfless,” Thor went on, “Loyal to a fault, and blends in well. She would be at your beck and call if you needed her to deliver a message, blend in for casual spying, or any number of tasks that result in your Pepper’s wasted time weeding out applicants that all too often are not suited to the job. You would be greatly reducing overhead just to have her on-site, with a small amount of additional compensation.”

“What about Foster? I mean, she drives people nuts.”

“Banner is not on site all of the time, they might share the research space.”

“Not happening,” Tony shot down immediately, turning in a circle with his thinking cap on. “But that’s not a bad idea, I’ve been wondering what do with some space two floors below Banner’s. There’s already an elevator that connects the levels privately, and I had intended for it to be utilized for something else but can easily convert it into a lab facility. All I need to do is contact Foster to get her specifications.”

Tony rushed over to a desk and started mapping out the lab, muttering to himself and making quick sketches, talking to FRIDAY, and rapid-fire bringing up schematics.

Thor leaned in very close to Darcy. “I believe you have successfully convinced friend Anthony of allowing you and Lady Jane to move into the tower. If you wish, I can help you pack.”

Darcy’s jaw just stayed open, an invitation for passing flies. Thor gently helped her off the stool, and they literally tip-toed out of Tony’s workspace. Once you managed to get Tony latched onto an idea, he was a dog with a bone and worried it to death. Hell, he even managed to make it sound like it was his own idea, in the end.

When the door shut behind them, Darcy leaned back against the wall and blew out a breath, giggling. “Holy shit! Did you see that? You did it!”

“No, my Lady. We did it together. I did not know such a generous heart beat within your lovely breast. It has moved me to worship you.”

“Uh, whoa whoa. I need to be clear with you. What exactly are you referring to with that statement?”

“Is it not obvious?” Thor flirted, allowing his gaze to undress her as he leaned over her, trapping her there with his massively muscled forearms. Their size difference was fucking ridiculous. To the outsider, the thought that this God of Thunder would fit inside such a small package was insane. They didn’t know the hidden depths of Darcy Lewis. Literally.

“I guess you could show me. Like, I might need some convincing.”

“You fire my blood with your teasing banter. If you wish for me to convince you, I will do so, most thoroughly.”

Grabbing her hand and practically dragging her through the halls, they made record time to Thor’s quarters, where as soon as the door shut, he lifted her easily, slamming her to the wall but quickly gentling when she yelped.

“You have to be more careful big guy. I’m not near-immortal like you.”

“Yes, I am aware, and I am sorry. My reactions to you do not leave me in a calm state of mind. Let us take this to the bed.”

“Good idea.”

He literally carried her there, her legs around his waist and Darcy's lips nuzzling his nipples through his t-shirt.

“Damn, you are so fine,” she moaned, tweaking his nipples to pebbles.

“And you, my Lady, are about to be worshipped by a God.”

“Shit shit, I think I just soaked through my panties.”

Thor groaned, deep and low, just holding her to his chest for a moment. “I was too rough with you the last time. Please, allow me to rectify my mistake.”

“It was no mistake. I paid for it for the last three weeks, but it was damn worth it.”

Thor lowered her to the bed and stepped back, turning and dropping his head. “For that, I am truly sorry. I did not know you suffered so. Why did you not call for me?”

“Well, you know. Like, we sort of decided this was a casual thing, right?” Darcy bit her lip again, hating the feeling of going from horny and excited to unsure and ready to run from one moment to the next. This was supposed to be simple and was already threatening to get complicated.

“Casual. Yes, indeed, if that is what you wish.”

Did she detect a note of disappointment in his tone? No way. There was no way he wanted a relationship with her, and quite frankly, the thought scared her half to death. She wasn’t ready for a long-term commitment. While it irked her, she had to agree with him. It wasn’t fair to place expectations on him when she wouldn't – couldn’t – commit. “Um, yeah, is that okay?”

Thor spun and narrowed his eyes. “It is more than ‘okay.’ I am relieved you do not seek to terminate our intimate relations.”

“Thor?”

“Yes, my Lady?” he asked softly, kneeling at her feet, reaching for her knees to push them apart.

“I’m never going to get tired of having ‘relations’ with you. Sometimes I feel like I’m dreaming. You’re every man and woman’s wet dream. Seriously. So many people would kill to get one night with you.”

“They are not the ones I want. Only you, my Lady, can quench the insatiable lust coursing through my veins. It is a powerful hold you have over me. If only you knew. I am at your feet, will obey your every command. As long as you are my paramour, I am your slave in the bed, Lady Darcy.”

She let herself fall back to the mattress, shucking her top layers over her head and shoving her pants off.

“Do you wish me to pleasure you orally?”

“You need to shut up and just eat me already.”

“As you command, my Queen,” he breathed, yanking her forward by the hips and burying his succulent lips in her tight cunt.

The Thunderer’s tongue reached out to her silky seam, tonguing her open, prying her folds apart, peeling her back layer by layer until his chin was flush with her warm flesh, wiggling and licking inside of her, holding her hips down with one forearm. Darcy writhed beneath him, squealing as he moved up to her clit, teasing it from its hood, gentle flicks alternated with soft suckles, a lover’s kiss.

“Are you the God of Eating Pussy too?” she gasped out, and Thor couldn’t help but stop and laugh, his sound vibrating against the soft flesh of her inner thighs.

“I think Odin would have had a heart attack if that were true,” he chuckled and tried to go back to eating her. Still, unable to get that out of his head, he finally reared back again and let it all out, practically doubling over.

Pussy cooling, Darcy crossed her arms. “It wasn’t that funny!” she told him, grumpy from the interruption.

“Forgive me, my Lady. Your jesting incites mirth unlike I’ve known for a century or more. You are exquisite in every way.”

“Compliments will get you everywhere. Why don’t you come back up here? I know of a way to get you back in the mood.”

“I am always in the mood for you. Have no fear.” Yet he obeyed and stood when she indicated he do so, Darcy pulling his hips toward her and licking the leaking head of his magnificent cock like the most delicious ice cream.

“Darcy – you don’t – oh, that is nice. Mm, yes, my Lady. You do such wicked things to my organ.”

Further protests flew out the window as Thor’s hands gripped her hair, pulling it up into something he could hold with one hand and tug on, helping guide the speed and depth of her oral pleasuring.

“I had no idea you would love placing your mouth on my manhood, sweet girl,” he panted, and now it was her turn to pull off his cock and sputter out a laugh.

“Seriously, Thor? Manhood? Oh god, I think I’m gonna pee, that was so funny!”

Being much stronger than she, Thor pulled her mouth back and guided his dick back in, pumping lightly and shallowly, grunting to her. “If you prefer the crude euphemism of Midgard, then suck my cock, my little mortal slut. You will take all of it, and when I release, you will swallow every last drop like a good girl. Do you understand?”

“Oh shit, that’s hot!” she mouthed around his dick, which came out as more of a garbled affirmation which he took to mean, _‘Yes!,’_ then pulled her mouth off of his cock and fixed her with that deep-sea blue gaze.

“I asked you a question. What say you, Darcy, my sweet little slut?”

“HELL, YES!” she shouted up at him. She launched herself forward, now taking him as far into her mouth as she could and making up for the rest of it with one hand, finger fucking herself with the other.

When Thor realized what she was doing, his lust ratcheted up a notch, and he began moaning loudly, praising her, urging her to take him, suck him, show him her adoration of her God. Much to his surprise, Darcy stopped and shook, tremors wracking her body, and he realized she had come while giving him head. Instant boiling lust inflamed him, and he pulled her off again, flipping her around and slamming his cock into her to the hilt.

“You have no idea what that just did to me, little Darcy. No idea at all. Sweet, sexy, Hel, all I want to do is fuck you until you cannot walk again.”

“Yes! Fuck me hard!” she begged, the mouth of her cunt sucking on his length so tightly he let out a feral snarl and pulled out, yanking her hips back onto him, setting a fast and furious pace.

_“Going. To. Fuck. You. Keep. You. In. My. Bed,”_ he grunted out in time with his thrusts, lightning sparking in his eyes and out his fingertips. Leaning forward, he mounted her properly and rutted against her lovely body.

Darcy had a bubble butt to die for. Many people had teased her about it. Still, to Thor, it was a sign of fertility, a healthy female at the prime of bearing young, wide hips and enough cushion for him to bounce off of. Thor loved nothing more than to grasp one cheek in each hand and use them as handles to pull her on and off of him, leaving finger-tip shaped bruises, amazed that her petite cunt swallowed every inch of his godly manifest.

Darcy screamed and bore down, coming and squirting over his cock, leaving thick, white streaks of cream that made Thor close his eyes when he rose up to inspect his handiwork. Unable to keep the sight at bay for long, it took very little for him to lose it once he opened his eyes, the evidence of her explosive release soaking the base of his pelvis with lust.

“Darcy! Darcy!” he shouted out, slamming into her, then pulling out and yanking on the end of his cock, milking it and shaking the ropes and beads of come all over her ass. When he was done, the God rubbed it in, massaging his seed into her ass cheeks until it was reasonably dry, then leaned over the exhausted girl and took her down to the bed with him.

He wasn't done. Knowing full well mortal women needed time to recover, he simply relaxed, spooning behind her, nipping and kissing at her shoulder blades, praising her, spinning tales of her beauty and virtue until Shakespeare would weep. Reaching around, his fingertip danced gently over her clit, aware it was sensitive, and she seemed to come to life again, pushing her ass against Thor’s rapidly swelling erection once more.

“Fuck my ass,” she whispered, and Thor stopped, pulling back and pushing her flat, his eyes searching.

“Did you just ask me what I think you did?” he asked slowly, and Darcy bit her lip and nodded.

“Why? Does that offend you?”

Thor closed his eyes and let out a long, slow breath. “On the contrary. It is – taboo – on Asgard, amongst many. Sex is very freeing, but for some reason, an old-fashioned notion that the back passage is sacred or off-limits still persists. What makes it hypocritical is if a man is intimate with another man, it is accepted. A man with a woman? No.”

“What if a woman wants to peg a man?” she asked, curious now. Listening to him talk about the peculiarities of Asgardian culture fascinated her.

Frowning, Thor shook his head, absently plying a nipple as he thought. “I am not familiar with the term.”

“Oh, fucking hell, really? Like, seriously? This is too damn good.”

Darcy clapped her hands like a kid in a candy store. “I get to introduce you to a very, very naughty kink. I can’t wait!”

“Will you enlighten me as to what this ‘pegging’ act entails? It sounds most curious.”

A very naughty smirk graced her lips, and she licked them. “There are several ways you can do it, but generally, it involves the woman placing an artificial cock, strapping it around her waist with a harness, and fucking her man in the ass with it.”

Thor’s eyes got extremely wide and then his teeth grit, cock instantly at full mast and bulging with the need to come again so soon. “That is – one of the most arousing things I think I have ever heard,” Thor ground out. “If I do not have you again very soon, I shall surely go mad.”

“We can’t have that now, can we?” she teased but gasped when he repositioned himself, shoved her legs open, spat generously on his cock, and pushed her legs up around her ears, slamming back in with a shout. It took exactly half a minute before he blew inside of her this time, head thrown back in ecstasy as he shouted and shouted, his entire body shaking from the force of his orgasm.

“Inflamed. My loins, never have they burned so, my sweet Darcy. I cannot stop fucking you, so lovely,” and he fell into another rhythm, wrapping his arms around her generous frame and going more slowly now, aware when she winced. “I will be gentle now, lass. I am at your mercy and cannot apologize enough for my brutal appetites. I will promise you now, lovely Darcy, that if you allow me access to your sweet treasure more frequently, I will show you tenderness as well as power. Together, we shall explore the kinks of Midgard. You bring out the beast in me, my Lady, and I am in your debt.”

Thor brought his lips to hers and finally kissed her, slipping his tongue into her mouth and making sure he bottomed out on each thrust, angling his hips until she was moaning, breath hitching, then a high-pitched whine sounding when she tried to push him off of her. “What the hell is that? What the hell are you doing?” she panicked, feeling like she needed to piss.

“That, lovely Darcy, is one of the magic hiding places within a woman. Surely you know of it?”

“I – I’ve never found it, I guess? That’s incredible, but I feel like I’m going to pee!”

Thor didn’t slow down, and instead increased the power and speed a bit, grinning wickedly at her as she pushed ineffectively against his chest over and over. “You are going to come for me, most spectacularly. If you must piss while you come, so be it. Every part of you is sublime and welcomed. It is natural. Allow your release to overwhelm you in whatever form it may take.”

“That’s gross!” she protested but now was meeting him, that sweet bubble in her gut growing once more.

“It is not. It is all a part of you. While I draw the line at excrement, urine is not a filthy substance. If you wished it, I would gladly piss on your lovely body to mark you as animals do. Such a lovely, sexy body it is.”

“Oh shit, that’s hot!” she moaned again, urging him faster now, “Yes, fuck me harder! I’m going to come so hard on your cock!”

“Yes, yes, my Lady, feel me, come on your God’s cock,” and he leaned back in, devouring her mouth as their tongues tangled wildly, Thor yanking her by the shoulders down to meet every thrust, toes digging into the bed to get more leverage as the wall plaster cracked again and they were oblivious as bits rained down the back of the bed.

Darcy’s sultry pants and whines filled his mouth, and her back bowed up off the bed, clenching hard in deep, spastic sensations that drowned all of her senses in bliss. It mattered not whether she peed or squirted, this was all for Thor, and he’d made her feel things, admit things, think of new things she’d never done before or considered. The ballooning sensation inside of her burst, a soft super-nova spreading like molasses through every limb, and she cried out softly, her trembling voice giving worship to the God above her.

“Oh, God! My God! _Thor! Thor!”_

The God of Thunder was still insanely excited and blew inside of her again, coming in her then withdrawing, noting with a corner of his crazed mind that she was marked in numerous places, body slicked with sweat, trembling from exhaustion and heeding the signs he begged her, “My Lady, I cannot stop the excitement coursing through me. It must run 'til its end. Will you allow me the use of your body for other than intercourse to finish this reign of madness within my loins?”

How could a girl say no to that? “Sure, as long as I don’t have to do anything,” she panted, closing her eyes.

“That is not a problem. Thank you, dear one.” Positioning himself up and over her torso, Thor placed his still-angry looking dick between her tits, pushed them together over the fat head and closed his eyes, chin lowered to his chest, pumping between the exquisite, sexy mounds of flesh. The frenzied coupling had died down, and all that came from him were animalistic, tired moans.

Darcy was actually dozing lightly when his cock jerked her awake with his shaking, the God orgasming between her tits as he panted hard, barely anything coming from his tip. So, that was one answer solved. Gods could run out of juice the same as mortals. Cool.

Just when she thought he was done, he removed his bulk from her and knelt at her side, merely eating her body with his eyes, hand flying over her marked flesh. “Lovely, lovely, full of my come, rubbed into your luscious ass and thighs, my seed in your mouth, and now you wish for me to place it into your back passage, oh, holy Helheim!” and on the heels of his last orgasm, he simply jerked in place, face a rictus of agonized, exhausted pleasure.

At long last, his cock went limp, and he let it drop slowly to his inner thigh, practically breaking the bed when he flopped next to her.

“Shouldn’t we take a bath?” she asked half-heartedly, and Thor just chuckled.

“Later. For now, the dead will not sleep better than I.”

He wasn’t kidding. It took all of a minute, and Thor was snoring, one arm wrapped securely around her. Not one to argue, she closed her eyes, intending to just rest for a little while and instead falling into as deep of a sleep as her lover.


	6. Hey, Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More sexytimes, more realness, things between Thor and Darcy start getting a little complicated and messy. Clint is a little pissed off too. Jealousy isn't cool.

Darcy was surprised the next morning when Thor slept soundly on, still looking perfect even with his mouth open and in repose, arm hanging off the bed. His cock was stiff (of course) against the sheet, literally tenting it, and she skirted him carefully, eye-balling with trepidation, the monster responsible for her tenderness. God, she loved Thor’s cock. She also loved walking without pain or bladder infections from hell.

Opting for a quick shower, she decided expediency was for the best. Just as fast, she got dressed and darted out of his quarters, only feeling a tiny bit guilty as she headed for the chow hall. Raiding the fridge, it didn’t surprise her to see mostly junk, expired take-out, and some unidentifiable crap at the back. Fortunately, there were a few apples and oranges, a loaf of bread, and some butter. Darcy settled for coffee, an apple, and two pieces of toast.

Damn, she was going to make some changes in the tower as soon as they got moved in. As if on cue, FRIDAY informed her that clearance would be set up for her and Jane two days hence and she pumped her fist. Hawkeye wandered in, rubbing his eyes blearily.

“What was that kid? You movin’ in? Good. I’m hungry.”

Darcy tried to punch his shoulder as he passed, but he just crossed his eyes at her, making her laugh. “That’s all I’m good for, huh? Feeding your bottomless pit of a stomach?”

“I’m sure there are other things you’re good for,” he smirked, and her mouth dropped open.

“You’re just as bad as the rest of them!”

“Hey! You’re moving into a tower full of testosterone-fueled super soldiers and workout buffs. Rumor has it there’s a super-hot archer around here.”

Clint glanced around, then opened a cupboard, moved a stored appliance out of the way, and grabbed a stashed box of cereal. He reached into the box and grabbed a handful, shoving it, dry, into his mouth.

Darcy grimaced as bits of it fell to the floor, and then she got up from her chair halfway, scouting the area in a very exaggerated manner. 

“Hm. Super-hot archer, super-hot archer, NOPE! I don’t see anyone in here that fits that description!” she teased, sticking her tongue out at him, and his eyes narrowed.

“Oh, low blow kid. I’m gonna get you for that!”

The cereal box dropped and spilled all over, Clint leaping over the counter and stalking a shrieking Darcy, who was, by now, feeling the effects of last night’s fuck-a-thon in every muscle, slowing her down. She picked up a decorative pillow and threw it at the archer, he catching it one-handed and throwing it back, nailing her in the head. She went down, and Clint launched over the couch, tackling her then proceeded to straddle her thighs and tickle her until she was breathless, screaming.

“Okay! I give! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

“As well you should be!” he scolded with mock indignation, looking up when a shadow blocked the light and grinning up at Thor, who was not grinning back. Clint removed himself from the panting Darcy, intent on getting back to his dropped cereal when Thor stopped him.

“Yeah? ‘Mornin! Up and at’em, eh? If you want a turn, she’s all yours,” he grinned again, the smile fading when Thor’s fist started to grip the front of his shirt. “Hey! What the hell?”

“The Lady is not interested in your advances.”

“Whoa whoa whoa! I’m not coming on to her! We were just fuckin’ around, chasing each other, you know? Friends do that kinda thing.”

Darcy had recovered and stood up quickly, putting her hands over Thor’s forearm, trying to get him to drop Clint, who was up on his tiptoes. “Thor, let him go.”

The God of Thunder turned that dark stare on her, and she shivered. “Were his advances welcomed, Lady Darcy?” he asked her directly, almost sounding as if he dared her to reply anything other than what she assumed he wanted to hear.

Was he fucking jealous??? There was no fuckin’ way! Thor had never acted this way around Jane!

He had to be joking. She climbed onto the arm of the couch and leaped onto Thor’s back. “Piggyback ride!”

“You did not answer the question,” he kept on, and she just cuffed him across the back of the neck.

“Let Clint go. It’s too early for this shit.”

Thor’s fist opened, and Clint’s eyes went flinty, brushing off his shirt and straightening it. “Lighten up, will ya?” he shot at Thor, muttering about moody gods in the morning as he went elsewhere to seek something edible.

“Get down.”

“No. You’re being an asshole. If you wanna talk, you owe me a ride to somewhere private.”

“You wish to take this somewhere private? Very well,” and he took off at a dead jog, Darcy pretending to kick him in the side, uttering, “Giddy-yup, God ‘O Thunder, Yah!”

They made quite a sight to tired Avengers just coming out of their rooms, and more than one had a laugh, not connecting Clint’s bad mood with the galloping pair.

Thor brought them back to his rooms, reached behind him, and promptly plucked Darcy from his broad back and dropped her onto his comfy, bouncy couch, solemn once more. He crossed his arms, brows furrowed. “You will answer my question.”

“Will you give it up? Joke’s over. You can stop pretending now.”

She made to get up, but he pushed her down. “You will sit until you answer my _goddamn_ question.”

“You ARE serious, aren’t you? Are you jealous Clint and I were horsing around?”

“Friend Clint said you were ‘fucking’ around. Is it so? You gave yourself to him so soon, with my come still warm and thick within you?”

“Oh, come OFF it, Thor! ‘Fucking around’ also means like, horseplay. Roughhousing. Wrestling. He totally made a comment I made fun of, then chased me around, tackled and tickled me half to death. That was it. Dude, I’m not even interested in him the way I am you.”

“Really? You allowed him to straddle you intimately. His clothed organ was very close to your sacred center. I could smell the desire wafting from him. If you’d let him, he would have fucked you.”

“You need to just – stop. Right now. Just because I am having hot sex with you doesn’t turn me into the Avenger’s bicycle. Not everyone gets a ride, dude. Do you think I’m a slut?”

Thor didn’t say anything, simply turned from her and growled, running his hands through his long hair.

“You DO think I’m a slut!” she shrieked, jumping up and coming around the table to pound at his chest. “You asshole! How could you think that of me?”

“I never said you were a slut! I merely did not answer you!”

“Not answering, my Godly friend, usually means you are trying to be polite and not say it. The silence is rude and means you do think what it is you weren't saying.”

“Once again, I do not understand the intricacies of Midgardian female conversational tactics.”

Darcy backed off when he took hold of her wrists before dropping them and turning away from her again. A traitorous tear formed in the corner of her eye, and she sniffed, angrily wiping it away.

“I’m only going to ask you this one more time. Our – whatever this is between us – the future of it – depends heavily on what your answer is or isn’t.”

“I do not think you are a slut, Lady Darcy.”

She heaved out a sigh and left the room, plopping onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. He wandered in after her, lying carefully next to her, not touching, but not talking.

“This is supposed to fun. Casual. I mean, why are you going and making it all complicated?”

Thor made a fist and covered his heart with it, pounding it there a few times in a gesture of expression. “I thought I would be able to adhere to this casual concept you speak of, Lady Darcy. On Asgard, it has never been an issue for me. On Midgard, and perhaps it is because you are a friend of Jane Foster, a woman I’ve recently loved and still do on some level, even if it’s not what I thought it was, I am finding myself unable to ‘do casual.’ Is that how you would term it?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I get what you’re saying.”

“The more I lay with you, the more possessive I feel. It is a foreign concept to my heart. I am not, by nature, a possessive man. I value what is mine, but a woman is her own person, and I do not own her, even if she commits herself to me. My feelings are conflicted.”

“I knew I shouldn’t have given in and slept with you right away. I think you’re experiencing something we call ‘rebound.’ Janey broke your heart, and you fell into bed with the first woman that was familiar and attracted to you. Some of your feelings are being transferred onto me. It’s not uncommon. We should um, probably cool it for a while, just to make sure.”

Thor turned his head, reaching to take her chin to face him gently. “You do not wish to engage with me in a sexual nature anymore?”

“Well, I do! We should give it some time. Sort out your feelings. Who knows? Maybe you and Janey will get back together.”

Thor was already shaking his head. “No. It is over between Lady Jane and I. Your suggestion has merit. While I do not like the thought of being away from your lovely body, perhaps it is wise to take a break. My feelings have not run this deep for some time. I do not believe what I am feeling, however, is for Jane.”

Now Darcy laughed. “You can’t possibly be in love with me after only taking me to bed twice, Thor.” She rolled her eyes. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!”

She sat up, fiddling with her cuticle on one nail, pulling off a hangnail and wincing, sucking on the bleeding part.

“Do not mock my heart, Lady,” Thor warned softly, an arm coming to wrap around her, his head resting on top of hers.

“I’m not. Just, you know; You’ve got a lot of time on your hands. You’re nearly immortal, and what’s a few more weeks or months to sort out your emotions? Trust me; you don’t want to get trapped with me. I’ve got a lot of baggage.”

“Now you are putting yourself down. I will not hear of it, you are lovely, and any man or god would be lucky to have you.”

“Thanks, I think.”

She quit sucking on the hangnail, relieved the bleeding had stopped, but now it stung like hell.

“We will remain friends, yes?”

“Yeah, sure, big guy. I’m not going to avoid you just because you nailed me a few times.”

Darcy felt rather than heard the low rumble in his chest, and his fingers tightened on her opposite hip. “If you were not telling me no, my Lady, I would gladly ‘nail’ you a few more times before our actual break.”

“I think that’s just gonna complicate things, don’t you?”

“Possibly. My cock is hard and dripping for you, and I think of no one else when my hand strays to relieve it.”

“I need to get out of here before you talk me back into your bed.”

“You are already in my bed,” he breathed, now kissing the shell of her ear, and her eyes closed, breath coming in little pants.

“Shit, that’s hot. You’re so fuckin’ stacked, Thor. God, I’m wet.”

“Please, my Lady. Allow me one more glorious release within your sweet cunt, and I will let you go and respect your boundaries.”

“I can’t, I’m super sore, Bro. Just let me go, okay?”

Thor’s inhale of her hair, moving down and kissing her arm, had her doing the opposite, leaning into his chest and lifting her chin to meet him in an upside-down kiss that melted her brain.

“Lady Darcy, my succulent siren.”

Before she knew it, Thor was over her, gently removing her shirt and laving her breasts, one thick hand down her open jeans and panties, pushing a giant finger through her sopping, sore cunt.

“I’m sore dude,” she complained.

“Do you wish for me to stop?” She only whimpered in reply. “That’s what I thought.” He smiled against her chest, working her gently, a rude squelching sounding from down below as her pussy leaked around his probing digit.

Thor pulled her jeans and panties off with reverence, kissing every inch of her belly, thighs, even her feet, exclaiming she tasted so sweet. 

He was still fully dressed. Christ, was he trying to kill her?

Her main experiences with Thor, so far, had been him ravaging the shit out of her. While it was hot as fuck, Darcy wasn’t up for that every time they had an encounter. This side of Thor threw her for a loop as if he were handling delicate china, every piece precious and priceless.

His lips didn’t overwhelm her in the least. Incredible hands moved steadily over her curves until he had her practically purring and writhing beneath him, begging him just to fuck her already, relieve the ache inside as he took her to the edge over and over but didn’t let her crest.

At long last, when she really did start to cry, thinking he was punishing her for refusing him, he took mercy. He stripped slowly, electric blue eyes burning holes of lightning into her entire body. Lowering himself carefully, he worked himself over her swamped cunt until she swore at him and snarled.

_Finally,_ Thor pushed inside, pressing himself into her inch by inch, his lips moving but no sound coming out. He didn’t kiss her. Just held her, maintained eye contact with her, and Jesus Fuck Above he Made fucking _love_ to her, sweet, tender, full of repressed emotion that spilled into his kiss finally, suckling and nipping at her, tongues trading swirls, moans, and groans until she came softly under him, her entire body shaking as he followed her, moaning her name like a benediction, his come flooding her once more.

He didn’t ask for more, but pulled out and held her. After a time, they rose in silence and helped one another shower. Although he grew hard again, he merely washed her, kept a respectful distance, didn’t try to retake the advantage. And then, oh fuck he was so sweet- he helped her dress, patted her bottom like a small child and pulled her in for one more heart-melting kiss before she left to go home and pack, and told her, “I wanted to leave you with the memory of who I truly am, at heart, and the devotion I would show you if you consent to be solely mine, Darcy Lewis. As I told Jane when she was hesitant to be intimate with me, I will now say to you; I will wait for you. If you do not see a future with us, please tell me now, and release my heart. It is already your captive and belongs to no other. Breaking it will be a terrible kindness, and I plead with you not to draw it out. Please tell me there is still a possibility for a future with you.”

Now she really was crying, hugging him hard, wetting his shirt with her tears. “Fuck you, Thor! You didn’t tell me you were in love with me! You can’t possibly be in love with me!”

“Aye, silly lass, but I am. You do not have to say it back, but I love you, Darcy Lewis. If you will have me, I am here. Live well. Do not forsake your own truth, however. I do not wish to coerce you into something you do not want.”

“Goddamn you,” she whispered, digging her fingertips into his pecs. “Damn you to Hel.”

“Perhaps. Only time will tell. Go now, and think upon what I’ve voiced, what I’ve shown you. I know what I want. It is your turn to figure out what is yours.”

Then he gently pushed her out the door and closed it softly, locking it behind him.

Biting her lip, tears streaming, she pounded her fist into her thigh and winced. Why the fuck were men so complicated? She hadn’t wanted to take Jane’s man away, much less have him fall in love with her!! God, what a fucking _mess._

Feeling confused and angry and tired, she stormed down the hall, ignoring the greetings from others and made her way back to the apartment to the whirling dervish that was Jane, enduring the scolding tongue for interfering with her boss' life choices. Not wanting to deal with it, she just ignored Janey, grabbed a change of clothes, and left, slamming the apartment door.


	7. Give Me Something For The Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy's in a world of emotional turmoil, so of course alcohol needs to be involved. She gets by with a little help from her friends.

Sorry, not sorry, I have song titles swooping through my head like mad, so I'm running with it.

Darcy had no idea where she was or where she was going. She just needed to get away for a day, think about what the fuck had happened, how the fuck it had happened. Was Thor really in love with her, or did he just think he was? Was she really only some rebound pussy being mistaken for more? Was she fooling herself? Was there really such a thing as casual sex with Thor? Fuck and run had never been an issue for her in the past. Was she a slut? Was Thor just being friendly and not wanting to hurt her feelings? Was it possible to have casual sex with some people but not with others? Maybe there was no such thing as casual sex, and it was all just in how you approached it, considering it was a very intimate act, obviously. Was she ready to give up being single? Did she want to have something monogamous with Thor? More importantly, would she screw it up big time, or be able to handle it?

All of the things she’d never worried about before flooded her mind with anxiety, a dog chewing a bone until there was nothing left, and she still hadn’t made sense of a single thing. Of course, it started raining, so she darted into the nearest shop, relieved to find it was a used bookstore. The clerk looked up from a magazine, nodded to her, and went back to his article.

A few more people came in to escape the deluge, and grumbling, decided to browse while they waited out the worst of it. Darcy joined them, exchanging a few pleasantries and complaints about New York weather, running her forefinger over the myriad of colors of old books gracing the shelves. Darcy was a closet bookworm. When she wasn’t listening to music, getting into trouble, creating something, or running her mouth, her nose was in a book. She had quite a collection stashed under her bed, too embarrassed to let Janey know the kind of stuff she was interested in.

It took Darcy by complete surprise to find a little gem among the stacks, and she instantly snagged it, hugged it to her breast, and rushed up to the clerk who ignored her while she impatiently bounced in front of him. “Dude, you going to check me out, or what?”

Okay, that hadn’t come out well. All the same, the tired old dude didn’t even seem to notice. He sighed heavily, plunked his magazine down and acted like he was doing her some considerable favor ringing her up. Paying for the book, she had him wrap it in a plastic bag then peeked outside. The rain had slowed to a steady drizzle, so she shoved the book under her jacket and sought out a bar across the street.

The establishment was pretty empty for this time of day, which suited her just fine. At least she was able to dry off in the overly warm environment and order a beer. Yum, drinking this early in the day. _‘Not smart, Darcy,’_ she admonished, but unable to help herself. If she couldn’t think straight when she was sober, maybe being drunk would take care of things. _‘You need to be back at the apartment to get ready to move,’_ her sober mind told her. Still, she shoved it into the back seat of her brain and guzzled the first beverage, quickly ordering a second, then a third, then a couple of shots. Pretty soon, the world took on that sweet, fuzzy quality where her inhibitions took a hard backseat. What was she worried about again? Oh yeah, Thor. And Love.

What was there not to love? A Norse God said he loved her. It was bullshit, though, right? How’s it possible to fall in love with someone so quickly after someone else? Didn’t it make sense to, like, be single for a while, have some space?

_‘Everyone needs someone, Darcy,’_ her fuzziness supplied, to which the more drunken part replied, _‘He’s a Norse GOD, for fuck’s sake, who cares?’_

Thus the mental merry-go-round kept going round and round until she shut it up with three more shots, and the bartender called her a cab and cut her off. _‘Stupid fucker,’_ she thought, then realized she’d said it aloud and let out a hilarious giggle when he glared at her.

The bright yellow cab honked, and she managed, somehow, to stumble in, tell him the general area she lived in, and when she couldn’t supply an address, the cabby dropped her off in a busy section, figuring it was safer.

She saluted the driver after probably giving him way too much money and then looked around. Shit! There were doubles of people, triples if you counted the ones that moved too quickly. Getting jostled, she flattened herself against the nearest building. She slid down the rough siding, her head falling forward to her knees. "I’ll just rest for a minute," she slurred before she blacked out.

\--

Her cheek stung. Fuck, why did it hurt so fuckin’ much? Then it stung again, only this time, she felt the slap that went with it. What the fuck?

Opening her bleary eyes, Darcy moaned just as Jane raised her hand to slap her again, and her best friend lowered it, concern in her eyes as Darcy came to. 

“Christ, Darcy, where the hell have you been? You know, I had to send the SHIELD guys into your room. I’m not sure you wanted them to see your sex toy collection, but I have to admit it’s pretty impressive.”

“Can you like, not talk? My head is pounding,” Darcy grumbled. “What time is it anyway?”

“Time to get you over to the tower. Most of our stuff’s over there, and it’s almost dinner time. You hungry?”

With that prompt, Darcy leaned over to the side and barfed a lot of alcohol all over the carpet. 

“Damnit, Darce! What the hell have you been drinking?”

“Beer and Tequila. Funny, it tasted a lot better going down then it did coming up, ugh,” Darcy moaned, holding her head and wiping her face on a grimy sleeve.

“That’s just... Are you okay? I’ve never seen you get drunk like this in the middle of the day. Did something happen?”

Nodding, the intern just sighed and flopped her head back down, cursing when a new headache bloomed on top of the one she already had. 

“Leave me ‘lone. I need to sleep.”

“Oh no, you don’t. I don’t care if I have to have three SHIELD agents haul you over to the tower. You’re coming with me. I’m going to keep an eye on you until you sober up and get some food into you.”

“Got you your own room o’er a’ tha’ tower,” Darcy slurred a bit, then blacked out again.

\--

“What happened to her?” came the angry voice somewhere across an open doorway.

“I don’t know! Some of the SHIELD guys found her passed out a block away from our old apartment. I’m glad they showed up when they did. If I hadn't sent them out looking for her, God only knows who or what else would have happened to her first. She’s lucky she wasn’t raped or robbed.”

“You profess to be her best friend, yet you allow-“

“I can hear you, you know!” Darcy shouted, instantly regretting it when a spike split her skull in half, her brain leaking onto the unmade bed, or at least, that’s what it felt like.

A stampede of God tore through the door and planted himself next to the bed, kneeling, pushing her puke-stained hair back from her face. 

“You haven’t cleaned her?”

“We just got here!”

“I will take care of her.”

“Whoa, whoa! Who the hell put you in charge? I’m perfectly capable of giving her a sponge bath until she’s sober and awake enough to take one on her own.”

“She needs a proper bath, or this filth will remain in her hair.”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

“Would you two stop arguing? It hurts my ears,” Darcy complained weakly, opening her eyes and slamming them shut again. Great, just what she needed; Thor and Jane arguing about who was going to take care of her.

“Just leave me ‘lone. I’ll be fine.”

“You will NOT be fine. I think I’m going to have you checked for alcohol poisoning,” Jane interjected, just as Clint burst through the door.

“What the hell, does everyone have access to my quarters?”

Ignoring Jane, Clint unsuccessfully tried to shoulder Thor aside as he muttered, “What the hell happened to her?”

Jane blew a breath up that stirred her hair. “She got drunk, and SHIELD agents found her. I can’t figure out why, though, but she seems to be okay.”

“Shit. I mean, you okay, Darce?” Clint asked, heedful of the warning rumble in Thor’s chest.

“You know, you’re only the second person to ask me that,” Darcy mumbled, opening her arms to him, and Clint went right to her, giving her a warm hug.

“Why wouldn’t I?” he asked into her hair, releasing her when he felt Thor’s hot breath on his neck.

“Because SOME people would rather argue over who has the bigger set of balls or lady balls around here, that’s why.”

Clint turned to the other two. “Thor, why don’t you just, let me handle this one, alright?”

The Norse God gave the archer a very intense stare, then slowly stood. “If that’s what the Lady wants.”

“I do, now go ‘way.”

“I shall. If you require my assistance…” He trailed off, uncertain now.

“Yeah yeah. Bye.” Darcy waved him off, and he left without a word, unseeing of Jane’s open jaw working like a dead carp between the door and her friend.

“What the hell was that?” Jane asked under her breath, then moved forward. “Clint? I’m going to give her a sponge bath, so can you please wait in the other room?”

“What? Oh, sure, yeah. That okay with you, Darce?”

She nodded. “Just stay in the living room, okay? When Janey’s done, I want to talk to you.”

“You got it. I’ll make you something uh, simple. Soup?”

“No groceries,” she mumbled, wanting to sleep again.

“I’ll raid the common area.”

“Gross, no, just, order me some Chinese.”

“Uh, no. You do not want that ending up on the new carpet.”

“Fuck off then!” she sniped, and Clint laughed.

“I know a great place that makes a bland chicken-noodle, as requested. I’ll get that brought up.”

“’ Least you’re good for something,” Darcy sighed, and he laughed again.

“Okay, kid, chicken noodle and a sponge bath coming up.”

“Thank you, Clint,” Jane said softly, smiling when he smiled back and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Glad you two are here. I’ll keep an eye out for you, make sure Thunderbutt stays away for a while.”

Jane snorted a laugh and coughed. “Don’t let him hear you say that.” In the middle of the minor crisis, it didn't even occur to Jane to ask Clint or Darcy why Thor had been sent away or needed to be kept away. Hell, even why he'd barged in and tried to take over in the first place, except that they were good friends.

“Too late. He’s already decked me once for it.”

“Too bad, I would have paid to see that,” Darcy sniped.

Clint shook his head. “See you in a bit.”

“Okay, let’s get you out of these nasty clothes,” Jane told her when Clint left and shut the door.

Like a small child, Darcy did as told, raising her arms to get the shirt off, or her hips for Jane to shimmy the tight pants off, leaving her in her bra and underwear.

“You rest hon, and tell me later what’s going on, okay?”

“Kay,” was all Jane got from Darcy before she passed out again.

\--

Unfortunately, the team was called out, and Darcy didn’t have the opportunity to talk to Clint or any of the other concerned Avengers, not that she really wanted to with a killer hangover. Jane was flitting in and out of her quarters, and finally, Darcy told her to buzz off. After leaving a pot of coffee and some pills at her bedside, Darcy took the pills and ignored the coffee, falling back asleep. By evening she felt better again, albeit a bit queasy, so she nibbled on crackers and broth, flipping through Netflix listlessly until Jane finally quit working for the night and plopped down next to her.

Wrapping an arm around Darcy, she was surprised when the younger woman started to cry, holding her bestie while the girl sobbed onto her shoulder.

“I – I’m sorry, Jane! I - really fucked up this time, and I – didn’t mean to, I mean, oh hell!”

“Shhh, slow down. Get it all out, then start over,” she cooed, rocking Darcy and plying her with tissues and agua and hugs until the waterworks subsided.

A puffy-eyed Darcy pulled back, honking into another tissue, tossing it onto the floor. She couldn’t bear to look Janey in the eye. It was just, really shitty, what she had done. Jane was going to hate her.

“You’re going to hate me,” she blurted out, but Jane just shook her head vehemently and pulled Darcy back in.

“Nothing you could say would ever make me hate you. You’ve been one of my staunchest supporters, even when everything was going to shit. Now tell me what’s eating you up inside.”

Darcy pulled back again despite Jane’s protests, shielding herself in an ugly quilt. Jane kept staring at her expectantly, patiently, and finally, Darcy huffed and kneaded her hands together. “I slept with Thor.”

When nothing happened, Darcy snuck a peek up at Jane and was shocked to see Jane holding her hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh. 

Darcy hit her friend on the shoulder. “It’s not funny! You’re like, supposed to be really pissed off, flip over my coffee table, rant at me about what a horrible slutty friend I am, and never talk to me again!”

Darcy’s outrage only seemed to fuel Jane’s laughing fit more, and she grabbed her middle, letting herself fall to the floor in agony, laughing so hard she had a tough time stopping. By the time she did, Darcy just rolled her eyes and toed at Jane’s butt, poking her. “Hey. HEY. Stop laughing. STOP IT. This wasn’t supposed to be funny. What’s so funny?”

Jane could tell Darcy really was irritated. After drinking an entire glass of water straight, she finally had the giggles under control enough to budge into Darcy again, annoying her even more.

“You know I don’t care if you sleep with Thor, right?”

“I guess, going by the wild, weirdo laugh-fest you just had in front of me. Are you sure you’re not drunk or high or something?”

Jane poked Darcy in the boob, and Darcy covered her tit. “Hey, now! Sexual harassment in the workplace!”

“We’re not at work. Now shush and let me explain.”

“FINE!” Flipping off the tube, Darcy rested her head on Jane’s chest and let the older woman pet her. “You have a nice rack,” the younger woman mentioned absently, and Jane snorted into Darcy’s hair.

“Thanks. You too. Yours are bigger though.”

“I know.”

They were both silent for a minute, then Jane asked, “You know when I told you I only needed a few days to get over Thor?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I meant it. Like, now I can see he was an infatuation, and I just hung onto him because he’s a God, right? When would I ever get the chance to be with a God ever again? After we split up, it occurred to me I was afraid of being alone. Ever since I've been alone, you know what? I’ve been happy. Happier than I’ve been in – jeez a really long time, Darce. I think I loved him, but not loved him, loved him, you know?”

“I think so,” she mumbled into Jane’s shirt.

“I wasn’t ready to sleep with him because I knew, deep down, we weren’t meant to be together. I’m really relieved we broke up because now he’s got you, and you’re great, and you can be happy, but I can still hang around and get those fabulous hugs once in a while!”

“Win-win sitch, eh?” was all Jane got in reply, and the scientist huffed.

“Duh! As you would say. Look. If you and Thor can get a thing going and it makes you both happy, I support you one hundred and ten percent.”

“It’s just weird. He was your man like a really short time ago. Now he wants to date me exclusively.”

“Really? OH MY GOD, I’m so happy for you!”

“You’re weird,” Darcy mumbled again but was losing steam. Her victim mentality was quickly disappearing, with no reason to be a victim. With Jane’s support, now the only thing she needed to do was make up her mind whether she wanted to get serious with Thor. Was Darcy Lewis God-dating material? She didn’t feel like she was. Surely he could do better?

“I don’t think I’m going to uh, take him up on it,” Darcy told her honestly, sitting up again and wiping the remnants of tears from her eyes. “He said he’s in love with me already.”

Jane’s expression grew serious. “Wow. That was fast.”

“I’ll say. Does it bother you?”

“Honestly? No. He and I fell in love within days. Bam! Love at first sight, it felt like. If he’s doing the same with you, do you think it’s a rebound?”

“That’s what I told him!” Darcy stated back, growing animated. “Like, he was so super in love with you and down and out, and then he sleeps with me twice, and he’s suddenly in love with me? For fuck's sake, I didn’t even see him for three weeks between the first and second time!”

If Jane was making the timeline connection, she wisely kept quiet about it, for which Darcy was grateful.

“Some people fall in love really quickly.”

“That’s what he said. What am I supposed to do?”

Jane shrugged. “What do you want to do?”

“That, my friend, is the million-dollar question,” Darcy responded glumly, having no clue at all what she wanted. Did she want to be tied down to one person, even if it was the God of Thunder?


	8. The God of Moping and Waffling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint has a 'bro talk with Thor. Darcy tries to figure out some of her issues and decides to try to talk to Thor. Keyword: Try.

More than a week passed before Darcy saw Thor again, and even then, only briefly. He smiled brightly after her, as always, but an evident sadness lurked in the depths of him that would be hard to miss. Even his teammates commented on his depressed state, but nothing they said or did allowed him to feel the joy as he had when he’d had Darcy in his arms.

The agony was awful, waiting for her to come to him of her own free will. Days, weeks passed, and the flame in his heart slowly dwindled. Why did she not come to him? Speak to him? Even his performance on missions was suffering, and he was finally put on leave.

It was friend Clint that broke through one day, daring to invade his space, although Thor continued to rebuff all attempts at cheering him or talking to him about his misery.

“I’ve repeated myself often enough. I do not wish to be bothered.”

“Too bad. Sometimes you just gotta put up with these pesky things called friends,” Clint returned, tossing him a bottle of beer.

Snagging it sharply from mid-air and popping the cap quickly with his fingertips, Thor knocked it back, guzzling it easily until the bottle was drained, setting the empty on a low table and catching the second Clint tossed him, merely holding the cold glass to his forehead. 

“Thank you. A drink is a welcome reprieve.”

Flopping down next to Thor on the couch, Clint propped his feet up on the low table and sipped at his own brew. “You and the kid are some of the most stubborn-ass people I’ve ever met.” Clint knew he was pushing some heavy buttons but figured someone needed to have the guts to intervene. It was killing him to watch Darcy and Thor so unhappy when all they had to do was really SEE each other and talk this out.

“I fail to see your point, friend,” Thor said with a resigned sigh, popping the cap off the second beer but just holding it, spinning the bottle slowly between his palms.

“You love her, yeah?”

“Of course. You know I do.”

“So go tell her.”

“I HAVE!” Thor thundered at him, and it took everything in Clint not to jump off the couch and run for his bow. The God was a loud motherfucker when he wanted to be.

“Yeah, I know. So go tell her again, and again, and again.”

“She will not listen to my words.”

“Then don’t use them. Show her in other ways. Chicks dig flowers, hell sing her a song, do something in her honor, I dunno, doesn’t Asgard have an equivalent to impressing a girl?”

“Yes. It’s a proud tradition to woo your love with dazzling gifts, or if that cannot be afforded, acts of bravery, charity, or other displays of talent that befit one’s position and ability.”

“Do that.”

“You make it sound simple; I assure you, it is not.”

“No fuckin’ shit. Do you know how long it took me to get Laura to go out with me?”

Curious now, Thor turned to Clint, finally sipping at his second beer. “Go on.”

Pleased he had Thor’s attention, Clint settled into the couch a bit, sipping on his own thoughtfully. “She hated my guts, at first. You know – guy meets girl, the guy has issues, girl loves him anyway, they have a great thing going, guy fucks it up, realizes it when he loses her and chases her to the ends of Earth to get her back.”

“I’ve not – chased a woman in such a manner, but I feel that I would for the Lady Darcy. Continue.”

“Anyway, she didn’t believe me when I told her I’d changed, that I wanted her back, and worked through some of my bullshit.”

“Did she come back to you?”

Clint pursed his lips. “Not at first. She dated another guy for a long time.”

“I would kill any man that dared touch Lady Darcy in such a manner!” Thor seethed, gritting his teeth and severely testing the limits of the glass bottle in his hand. Only a light touch from his friend allowed him to settle a bit.

“You don’t own her, dude.”

“You don’t need to tell me that which I already know!” There was no heat in the retort, just the force of the God’s conviction.

“Shit or get off the pot. If you’re not gonna talk to her or try to win her back, just let her go. Right now, you’re sending her all sorts of mixed signals.” 

“Midgardian courtship rituals confuse me.”

“I’ve lived here my entire life, and I still don’t get women. Fascinating as hell, but damn they remind me of your brother.”

Thor’s eyebrows climbed a bit at that. “How so?”

“Banner told me, awhile after New York,” and here Clint’s lips tightened, his entire demeanor tensing, “that he described Loki’s mind as kinda like a bag full of cats.”

“I remember. We were discussing-“

“Yeah, I know,” Clint interrupted, having only mentioned it as a passing reference and not wishing to dwell on the horrible memories, thankful Thor let it drop. “Women are kinda the same way. You never know what’s going on in their minds. They say one thing and mean another.”

“How well I know.”

“So, you know what I’m talking about?”

“I think so. If I understand you correctly, you are advising that if I am not willing to pursue the Lady, to let her live her own life without interference.”

“Bingo.” Clint held out his beer and clinked it against Thor’s, amused by the Asgardian's confused look. “Anyway, yeah. Either grow a set of cojones and go after her, or dude, just let her go.”

Thor was silent, eyes looking off into the nebulous distance. Avoiding Clint’s latest jibe, he instead turned back to the previous subject. 

“How did you win her back? Your wife, that is?”

“My good looks,” Clint replied candidly, winking. At Thor’s unamused look, he rolled his eyes and finished his beer. “I decided I couldn’t live without her and proved to her I was sincere.”

“How did you do that? I wish to emulate your attempts.”

“No. You have to like, just do it your own way.”

“I do not-“

“You’re a GOD, Thor, fuckin’ figure it out! Now either go sweep her off her feet or leave her the fuck alone. Go big or go home, ya know?”

“I do not. But I believe I understand the spirit of the jest.”

“Man, you’re thicker than molasses in January.”

“Perhaps.”

Clint clapped his hand over Thor's shoulder as he stood, collecting the empties and giving him a quick smile. “See you around, Loverboy,” sauntering off, disposing of the glass in a recycling bin and jumping up, hooking his feet into a ceiling vent and disappearing somewhere above.

“Go big, or go home,” Thor mused, a small smile coming to his face. “Yes, I believe I know what I must do.”

\--

Darcy woke up the next morning and slammed her alarm off, tired. No matter how long she gave herself to think this thing over, her stomach felt queasy, and she was unable to sleep well. The whole fiasco was really screwing with her dating routine, or rather, the lack of it, as well.

She’d never been hornier in her goddamn life, but whenever she thought about picking up a one-night stand, her stomach turned again, and she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. She wasn’t sure if it had to do with the fact that she could imagine Thor’s fist breaking anyone’s face that dared take her out, or that his big blue puppy dog eyes followed her all over the compound. Still, he didn’t act like he really wanted her.

I mean, she knew what he had said, but she was getting mixed signals. One minute he’d be solicitous and open a door for her. Other days he knew she was walking behind him but allowed an entryway to slam in her face as he continued on and never looked back, hunching his shoulders when he heard her huff, sigh, or swear under her breath.

Darcy still bought take-out regularly, as did the rest of the crew, but she would put her leftovers in the fridge and explicitly mark “Thor” in black permanent marker on her leftovers. The God used to put a little note or token of thanks in the refrigerator, never failing to appreciate that she fed him above and beyond the regular meals made for the team. Nowadays, sometimes the food was gone, sometimes it sat and rotted ‘til she threw it out. She couldn’t figure out if he was taking it or just letting someone else have it.

Her heart pounded every time they passed one another, her legs feeling like jelly and libido spiking dangerously. Was that love? Was it just lust and infatuation that she wanted what she couldn’t have – a causal relationship? It wasn’t fair that Thor didn't seem to want her, and yet, didn’t want anyone else to have her, either.

Darcy decided just to corner the big guy. While she wasn’t old-fashioned by any means, there was confusion in her own head that didn’t quite know how to deal with stubborn, sulking alien royalty.

Determined, she got ready for the day and flung herself into work with a new purpose.

On her first break, Darcy staked out the break area and made a beeline in Thor's direction when she spied him conversing with Sam. Spotting her out of the corner of his eye, Thor abruptly quit whatever conversation he was having and walked quickly in the opposite direction.

“Thor. Thor! Wait up, I need to talk to you!” she hollered, knowing full well he’d heard her. When she sped up to try and catch up with him, he summoned Mjolnir from across the room, exited onto a balcony, and took off.

Stopping just short of the balcony and slightly out of breath, she was joined by a dumbstruck Sam Wilson. “Damn, girl. What you do to that man, make him run off like that?”

“Hell if I know! I just wanted to talk to him!”

“Mind if I ask about what?”

She huffed and crossed her arms, rolling her eyes. “I don’t really want to tell you.”

“C’mon, Darce. Everyone knows you two are hot for each other.”

“Why am I not surprised?” she sighed, turning her back and dragging her feet to one of the many plush chairs scattered about, plopping down on it. Looking back up at the still-standing Sam, who had followed her a ways but stood a few feet from her, she asked him, “Does he talk about me?”

“Girl. You’re the only thing he talks about. It’s driving the rest of us crazy. Please, just do something. Go jump on him if you have to. If I have to hear about how lovesick he is one more time-“

“Oh, stuff a dick in it, Sam. Why the hell do you think I came out here?” she grumped.

“Don’t take your frustration out on me! Dude saw you and took to the hills, or the sky, whatever. I thought you pissed him off or something. Looked ready to put his fist through the wall.”

“I don’t fuckin’ know! Maybe he thinks I was going to chew him out or something. We’ve barely said two words to each other in weeks, although he acts like he wants more – and at the same time is avoiding me like I’ve got the plague or some shit. I don’t know what to think, and I’m ready to give up on him.”

“No, no! Don’t do that! I don’t think I can cope with him being any moodier than he already is!”

“Right. Cuz this is all about you.”

“Aw, come on, Darce. Don’t be like that.”

“Like what? Like I’m trying to figure out if a God from another fucking planet wants me, or just like, wants me from afar but doesn’t want anyone else to have me? Fuck you. Just fuck off, and fuck the world, and everyone in it, okay?”

“Shit. Sorry I asked. Calm yo' tits, girl.”

Darcy reached into her bag and started pulling out her taser. By the time she looked up, all that was left in front of her was Sam’s empty pop can spinning on the floor where he’d dropped it mid-run.


	9. The Trickster Intervenes, or, (Loki is NOT SWEET!!!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Thor get into it. Loki tries to help. He really does.

Thor looked like complete shit when he dragged his ass into the compound late that night. Loki was just wandering back from the main area, having raided the fridge for leftovers when he saw Thor, shoulders slumped, cloak torn, and drunk as a skunk, as the Midgardian’s coined the term.

“Brother.”

“Brother.”

They stood in the hall, just staring at one another. Loki was waiting for Thor to move his big oafish ass so the younger brother could get down to the serious business of wolfing down Chinese and reading a good book.

Thor looked at him warily, blearily, as if someone had pounded him to death as Loki had been when the Hulk hog-smashed the unfortunate Trickster into the floor of Stark Tower.

“Are you going to stand there all night, or may I pass and enter my quarters?” Loki snarked, gesturing with hands full of takeout containers.

“Ah, yes. Right. Sorry.”

Thor moved aside just enough to allow Loki to squeeze past.

Unable to keep his trap shut and regretting it as soon as he said it, Loki sniped, “I don’t know why you don’t just fuck her again and get it over with. Watching the two of you moon over one another is nauseating.”

In the next moment, Thor’s entire hand was wound around Loki’s neck, lifting him above the God of Thunder’s head, takeout now scattered all over the hallway floor while Loki scrabbled at Thor's hands.

“Put. Me. Down,” he gasped out, kicking at Thor ineffectually.

“No one understands the depth of my feeling for Lady Darcy. She does not return my affections. I do not wish to force her into something she is not willing to commit to of her own free will.”

“Put’im down, Point Break,” came Stark’s command, Thor looking to one side to see Tony in bare feet glaring in his direction. When Thor didn’t, Tony put up his hands. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do. Well, I guess I kinda am, but that’s beside the point. Your brother’s an Avenger, and we need him, man. Put him down. Now.”

Thor finally acquiesced, dropping Loki like a ton of bricks, whose hands immediately went around his own neck, gasping for breath. “You shall pay for that you insolent-“

“Enough!” Tony shouted at the two of them. “I’ve had about enough of this shit. I’m sick of it. Thor, your moping butt is bringing the morale of the whole team down. Aren’t you guys supposed to be like, above this kind of petty mortal shit or something? What’s up with the fucking arguing in the middle of the night, with Chinese takeout all over my floors? Your brother looks like he slammed himself into fifty different mountains and smells awful," Tony addressed Loki, who was still rubbing gingerly at his neck, nodding absently in agreement. Tony huffed, running his hand through his hair, mouth about to land him in hot water. "Damn, Thor, how can you fuck up something so simple like snagging a hot piece of ass?” Tony got so caught up in his ranting he didn’t see Thor until the God was moving towards him, hands coming up, face turning into a snarl.

“You will never speak of Lady Darcy in such vile terms ever again, Man of Iron!” he roared.

Loki jumped on Thor’s back and shot one word at Tony: “Run.”

Taking Loki’s advice, eyes wide, Tony did just that, and Loki finally got the upper hand and choked Thor out, dragging his brother’s muscular and stinky body into his quarters, uncaring that Thor’s hair was now filled with sauce, rice, and bits of shrimp.

Several hours later, Thor came to, holding his head and groaning heavily. “What happened? I feel like Heimdall dropped the Bifrost on my head.”

“I’m sure he very nearly did, for as stupid as you’ve been acting,” Loki surmised, finishing the last of the fresh, late-night takeout he’d ordered with Thor’s credit card.

“Is there any of that left? I’m starving,” Thor said, shaking his head and looking around him at the bits of rice and dried up shrimp littering the floor. “What in the Nines?”

“You’ve made a complete ass of yourself, and if you keep on, we’re both going to be thrown off the team.”

Ignoring Loki’s rising voice, Thor rose, starting to strip off his armor so he could use Loki’s shower.

“Are you listening to me?”

“How can I not, Loki? It’s not like you’ve given me much choice.”

“Because YOU showed up drunk off your ass and couldn’t be bothered to move it out of the way when I simply wanted to gain entrance to my own quarters!” Loki yelled at him, annoyed with his oaf of a brother and his tiresome antics.

Irritated beyond all reason, Loki purposely trashed the rest of the food, so Thor had none, while his brother was in the shower, of course. Then he left his quarters, restless, roaming the main floor of the Avengers level for something to do.

Why could Thor never see what was right in front of him? Put him on the battlefield, he was the fiercest goddamn warrior you’d ever seen and then some. Capture a ferocious beast and tame it? Thor’s your man. Negotiate disputes between warring lands? Thor. Thor. Thor. All roads seemed to lead back to Thor except when it came to common sense with women and matters of love.

Oh, the blond giant Norse God had fucked many beings, hundreds, maybe thousands of them.

Yet in all of them, he’d fucked up every single goddamn one of the close relationships he’d attempted, to the point he’d started giving up rather quickly if it wasn’t handed to him on a silver platter.

Stopping short, Loki ran his fingers through his hair when he saw the object of Thor’s affections sleeping on one of the open sofas, her mouth slightly parted, snoring a little, drooling onto a pillow. It was gross but somehow adorable.

Loki cast a long look behind him, making sure Thor hadn’t come up this way, then got a wicked idea in his head and moved forward, changing forms as he went. Oh, this was going to be fun. It would either turn into the best idea he’d ever had concerning Thor and love, or the worst. What the Hel, what was life without a little risk for the God of Tricks?

Kneeling before the couch, Loki, disguised as Thor, ran roughened fingertips down the girl's cheek, stroking there, doing his best to get into the mindset of his brother, so he didn’t give himself away.

The Lady Lewis' eyes fluttered open, and she looked dreamy-eyed for a minute, then sat up suddenly, batting his hand away while she wiped the drool off her face on the back of her sleeve. Charming.

Still, Loki sat there with that cheesy ass grin on his face, the muscles already hurting from doing so. How in Helheim did Thor smile so much, and so wide? It literally exhausted Loki, and he’d only been doing so for a minute.

Darcy shook her head and ran a hand through it, which did nothing but muss it up more. It was a good look at her, he admitted, and his gaze drifted down where her shirt practically exposed one of her nipples. He felt himself grow hard and harrumphed to cover it up, moving forward a little bit, reaching out as if asking for permission to touch her.

This seemed to piss her off, and she slapped his hand away. Trying to look hurt, he gave her his best imitation of Thor’s pitiful broken puppy dog look and frowned, looking down at her feet instead.

“Oh no, you don’t! I’m not falling for that shit!”

Oops. Time to change tactics. Still frowning, he looked up again, asking her, “What more do you want from me?”

“You seriously have the nerve to fucking ask me that? I tried getting your attention yesterday, and you had the fucking nerve not just to run but fly away from me with Mew Mew! So fuckin’ rude! Just go to bed, Thor. I really don’t want to see you right now.”

Loki must have looked completely shocked. It was certainly how he felt. Was Thor really so dense as to turn away this gorgeous, spirited, sexy woman? If he was, then he was a fool. It seemed to piss off the woman in question, though, when he hesitated, as she scoffed at him and pushed him in the chest.

“Don’t look like this is such a surprise to you! Acting all hurt and shit. Give me a fuckin’ break. You don’t GET to be hurt. YOU hurt ME. I keep trying to figure things out. I WAS going to tell you I wanted to try, see how this whole thing works out, but the second you pulled that running away shit, I started having second thoughts.”

“Wow, he really is an idiot,” Loki mumbled, unused to how loud Thor’s voice was naturally when speaking through his brother's mouth, as compared to his own.

Darcy narrowed her eyes at him, and he backed away on his knees, Darcy following him like a predator about to spring, coming at him rapidly on all fours. The entire incident seemed surreal. When she seemed about to spring, Loki launched himself backward, intending to tuck into a roll and spring to his feet. Still, Thor’s big, ungainly body simply landed on the oaf’s big muscled ass and took the full brunt of the compact woman’s dive, which she’d launched a split second after his own.

With an, “Ooomph!” she landed on his chest, both legs straddling Thor’s waist and her hands in claws in his hair, holding onto both of his ears. Why the hell was Thor messing with this chick's heart? For a mortal, she was dangerous!

“Odinson. Do you have something you need to tell me?” she said lowly, studying him through those narrowed cat-eyes, her long nails pinching the tips of his earlobes.

“What? No. I – uh – I-“

“What were you talking about just now? Or rather, WHO were you talking about? Who’s an idiot, besides you?”

Loki felt like his brain was melting, combining with the dolts'. He knew his brother was honestly a smart man, but Thor could just be so fucking stupid sometimes.

“Answer me!” Darcy demanded, gritting her teeth and putting her face inches from Loki/Thor’s still-startled one. He stuttered again, growing ridiculously hard again beneath her groin, as he'd previously half-softened in the moments just prior to their current predicament.

“Oh, that’s how it is? Fine then. Let’s get you talking then.”

In a flash, she’d scrambled off his lap, and a hand shot out, grabbing Loki/Thor by the balls. “Now, talk.”

This was going nowhere fast. Loki deliberated for all of about a millisecond before she squeezed, hard, and he flashed back into his standard form, grabbing her wrist and wringing it until she let go of his tender nuts.

“Loki! What the fuck! Ow!”

He immediately let go and tried not to cradle his sore balls. “For a Midgardian female, you have a firm grip.”

Shaking out her hand, she snarled at him, “I used to be an arm-wrestling champion back in high school. I still practice with grips for fun.”

“Ah,” he replied as if that explained it. Healing himself discreetly, he grabbed her arm, jerking her a little roughly when she protested until she settled a bit at his dangerous look. Then he treated where he’d injured her.

“There now. Set to rights.”

“That doesn’t explain what you were doing just now masquerading as Thor. Did he put you up to this?”

Loki blew out a hard breath and shook his head. “No. I was curious as to how badly he’d fucked up such a simple thing as loving you.” Shit. Was his brain still channeling an inner Thor? He shivered. Norns forbid. Loki was never so bold and brash.

“Loving me? Is that what you call it? You heard me; he ran away from me!”

“Because he’s an idiot, girl! Don’t you see it? The oaf is madly in love with you, and he’s afraid of rejection! Now he does not believe himself worthy of your affection. He’d rather punish himself, but he is waiting for you to make the first move again, which you obviously cannot do if he keeps avoiding you, hmmm.”

Loki walked off, lost in thought, startling just a little bit when he felt Darcy’s small hand on his forearm. 

“Loki?”

“Hm?”

“That’s very sweet of you to want to help your brother, but I can handle things on my own, you know?”

Sweet? Did the mortal just refer to him as SWEET? Oh, no. Oh, Hel no.

“I am not sweet! Do not go around spreading lies!”

He just kept giving her more and more rope to hang himself with, didn’t he?

She danced away, twirling, “Loki is sweet, like a cand-y cane!”

“I am NOT sweet!” he yelled, pretending to leap after her as she squealed and ran. “I am a fearsome, wrathful God, and I shall have my revenge!” he teased, deliberately chasing her all the way to his quarters, artfully steering her down the right corridors until he trapped her against the door, she breathing hard, Loki looking predatory as she stared up at him with wide eyes full of mirth and a tiny bit of fear.

Loki smiled at her evilly. “I have a plan. How would you like to make my brother jealous?”

“Is that wise?” she huffed out, trying to duck under his arm, and he shrugged, blocking her. “Probably not. Do you want him, or do you not? I cannot think of a faster way to woo him back into your arms than competing with me.”

“Uh. I guess- if you think it’ll work. But I’m uh, not like, fucking you or anything.”

“What do you take me for, an opportunist?” he smiled, and she stuck her tongue out at him. “Alright then, no intercourse. What about kissing and touching?”

“Only if necessary, only above the waist. Try to keep it tame, you know. Kissing is okay, I guess, talking dirty, um, back rubs, shoulder rubs, or like, kissing my hands and arms. Running your hands through my hair. You can even pull it a little bit, or um, be a little rough and demanding.” She blushed hotly at Loki’s dirty smirk, knowing she needed to put him in his place just a bit after that revelation. “Don’t touch my tits unless you want me to claw your eyes out.”

“May I press against them to hug you?”

“Yeah. Just like. Try not to give too much tongue, either. It kind of squicks me out to make out with Thor’s brother.”

“Am I that repulsive?”

“No. Just uh, it’s weird, okay?”

“Hm. Fine then. Come on then. Let us enter the lair of the beast.”

“What? Now?”

“No time like the present.”


	10. Epilogue: Getting Their Shit Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Darcy come up with a plan to make Thor "see the light." He isn't thrilled about it. While it works, well, let's just say Loki isn't happy.

“How do you know he’s still in there?”

“My dear, when you’ve lived around the same beings for as long as I have, you just have a knack for knowing when they are nearby.”

He yanked open the door to his quarters, startling his morose but now-clean and changed brother. It looked like he’d actually returned to his own place, changed, gotten more food, and come back. Loki was hoping to be rid of his moping ass. At least he’d seemed to sober up a bit.

“He’s drunk, so just, try not to piss him off too much,” Loki warned.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” she mouthed, and he nodded.

“Follow my lead.”

Thor scrambled up when he saw Loki enter with Darcy, looking between them with wide eyes. Neither looked at him directly, although they were aware of his sudden movement. Loki pinned her against the door as soon as it shut, moving in and kissing her neck, murmuring into her ear as she giggled, which was a result of him tickling her discreetly to get her to react.

“Loki? What is the meaning of this!” Thor thundered, but he didn’t move, shell-shocked at what he was seeing.

“Mind your own business, Brother. If you don’t like it, return to your own quarters to sulk. You told me you had no interest in the girl, so she is fair game,” he spat back, then continued running his hands up and down Darcy’s arms, pulling her in for a kiss, lifting her and having her wrap her legs around his waist.

Loki heard a low growl and tried not to gulp. Maybe this HAD been a bad idea.

“I said nothing of the sort. She is mine!”

Darcy saved the moment by shooting a scathing look at Thor. “You don’t want me! I tried coming after you, and you ran! I’m horny, damnit, and if you’re not going to fuck me, Loki is more than willing! Right Loki baby?” she flirted, and he raised his eyebrows, alarmed at how thick she was laying it on.

‘No!’ he mouthed, clearing his throat to continue acting. “Now Darling, let’s not rush things, shall we? I’ve only just made your um, more intimate acquaintance.” He grabbed a handful of her hair, pulling her head back as he leaned in and kissed up and down her neck, enjoying it more than he should. He was waiting for Thor to pull him off of her, or rather, her from him. Whatever. Why was he willing to take a beating from Thor just to shove the obvious in the oaf's face, that this girl wanted and needed him? Norns the things he did for his brother.

Darcy MOANED, and Loki felt himself growing hard. “Down,” he whispered in her ear, and she nodded minutely, understanding when she felt his substantial bulge against her clothed core. He couldn’t help but grind it into her belly when she regained her feet, stooping to kiss her in short, searching kisses, nipping at her lips.

“LOKI!”

“Mind your own business!” Loki snarled, backing up with her pressed into his chest, falling to sit on the edge of his bed and ignoring the angry giant just feet from him. He couldn’t help but go a little soft in his nether regions with Thor hovering nearby. They were really playing with fire now.

Loki wondered how long his brother was going to allow this to continue, as the fool continued to stand beside and behind them slightly, his breathing loud and strained. Loki could just imagine the large hands curled into tight fists, lightning sparking in his eyes, and Thor coincidentally, unknowingly, acknowledged Loki’s correct assumption when a thunderclap sounded just outside, shaking the building.

“You will remove yourself from her, or I will do it for you. This is your last warning, Brother. I do not want to hurt you.”

Slowly, carefully, Loki pushed Darcy from him and winked when she shot her gaze nervously between him and Thor, keeping hold of her hand and speaking to the blond giant while still maintaining eye contact with Darcy.

“I do not understand you. The Lady Darcy has told me of her pursuit of you after you proclaimed your want of her. Then you run from her, drowning yourself in spirits, literally flying away from her like a coward. I never thought to see you run from a mere mortal, and a female one at that,” Loki scoffed.

His comments had the cutting effect he’d intended, pissing off Darcy, too, with the well-put condescension.

“Oh, my God! You did not just imply I am weaker than a man just because I’m female!” she spat, slapping at his chest, ripping her hand away and crossing her arms. “You’re both pigs!”

“I never claimed to be anything but, my dear. You quite simply accepted my advances, and I am more than willing to indulge you, and satisfy you since it is clear Thor is unable to do so.”

“Why, you snake!” Thor hissed, finally having been pushed into action, grabbing Loki by the hair and pulling his head back sharply.

“Ow,” Loki said in a bored voice, a shit-eating grin on his face, staring up into Thor’s enraged mask. Loki might as well be pouring accelerant on the blaze they’d ignited. “What is the matter, Brother, does the truth hurt?”

“I will show you a world of hurt, Loki,” Thor threatened, his fist pulling back to smash Loki’s face in for his deceit and smug asshattery.

Loki shut his eyes tight, waiting for the long-familiar feel of his facing giving way under Thor’s powerful punch. When it didn’t come, he opened them a slit, relieved to see Darcy had darted past him and had both of her hands on Thor’s forearm, looking both pleading and angry in the same instant. Remarkable, she was able to pull it off with such fire and bravery in the face of his brother's wrath.

“No.” She spoke lowly, plainly, with authority in her voice. Thor did not lower his fist, but now his attention was on the spot where Darcy was touching him. “You will not take this out on Loki. If anyone is to blame, it’s me. And he’s partially right. You can’t just reject me and expect me to sit around and pine for you. You either want me, or you don’t.”

“I want you more than the stars itself,” Thor grated through clenched teeth, eyes sparking as another loud boom shook the building, bits of lightning flaring from his fingertips.

“Let him go,” she implored the Thunder God, pressing down on his fist. Slowly, Thor allowed his arm to be lowered, and then he let go of Loki’s hair, the God of Mischief righting himself and cracking his neck to soothe where Thor had pulled it into a sharp kink.

“Do you want me, Lady Darcy?” Thor asked, voice trembling now as he was entirely tuned in to her, still at arm’s length, but with all of that formidable attention focused on the object of his affections.

Darcy darted Loki a look out of the corner of her eye. Loki inclined his head slightly toward Thor, and she put a hand behind her back, waving at him to go, that she was okay.

Not missing a beat, Loki made himself scarce, even though these were his rooms. If he and the Lady had succeeded in their goal, his work was done. Thor would come to his senses hopefully and realize what Loki had done, coming to him at a later date to apologize. Loki had seen it a thousand times before.

With a deep sigh, once he was in the hallway, he decided to go for a night prowl and see if he could catch anyone up to no good to take out his frustrations on them in the name of ‘Avenging.’ No other job was as satisfying as one where he got to incapacitate others with impunity, as long as he didn’t kill them or injure them too severely.

Darcy held Thor’s stare, a petite hand coming up to run over his beard and down his chest, feeling the hitch of his breath and resting her palm over his heart, the considerable muscle pounding against his ribcage.

“What do you think?” she returned, then shook her head, “don’t answer that. Yes. I do want you. I – I have from the beginning I just - I’ve always fucked up relationships, and this scares me, Thor. I thought I could do ‘casual’ with you because it’s never been a problem for me before. I was wrong. You, me, and casual are just not something that will work. There’s no such thing as casual between us. It’s all or nothing, isn’t it?”

Thor touched her, both hands covering her shoulders as he studied her, the thunder and lightning dying away, sad blue eyes returning to something resembling a sober, much calmer Thor. “You say that you desire me, but that our relationship will not work. Please, speak plainly. Do you truly desire Loki?”

He looked like his heart was going to break, and she snorted. “Are you kidding me? That was just a ruse to get you talking to me.”

Understanding dawned on Thor’s handsome face, and he huffed, widening his eyes and then closing them in defeat. “Yes. This is exactly the sort of thing my brother would do. I nearly – nearly hit him with all of my strength. Thank you for stopping me.”

“I told him he was sweet to help you out like that, and he went ballistic.” She smiled conspiratorially, and Thor laughed out loud, slapping one of his thighs.

“Oh. I would have paid gold to see that.”

“It was pretty funny.”

The banter died down, and they sat side by side on Loki’s bed. Darcy folded her hands in her lap and cleared her throat. “This is hard for me. I mean, I’m so afraid I’m going to fuck this up. And – and you’re a God for fuck’s sake. Like, how in the hell can I ever live up to you? To – to be the type of person that really deserves you?”

Thor pulled her into him in a one-armed side hug. “Silly mortal. You need do nothing more than you are to deserve me. It is I who must strive to be worthy of your love. Loki was correct, I am a coward. I fully expected for you never to return my affections after I ran from you. Yet here you are, giving me another chance. I am humbly at your mercy, sweet, sweet Darcy. Your wish is my command.”

She snickered a little bit into his side. “You really do sound like someone out of a Hollywood movie.”

“I will take that as a compliment.”

“It is.”

"Why DID you run from me?" she wondered aloud, biting her lip at the bold question she'd voiced and relieved when he replied with impunity.

"Truly? I - I was afraid you were coming to tell me that you wished never to see me again, to sever any chance to pursue a relationship. I could not bear the thought of losing you. I truly want you and wish for you to return my affections. Do you, my Lady? Want me, that is?"

Thor sounded so desolate and desperate at that moment her heart hurt hearing it.

Another deep breath. “Yeah. Yeah, I do want you. Just – be patient with me? If – if I freak out again, I am telling you right now, come after me. Chase me. Make me see reason. I can’t help but panic sometimes, feel closed in, trapped in a relationship. Work with me. If you can put up with my crazy shit until I calm down a little bit, I swear I’ll do anything to make this work. It wasn’t until I almost lost you that I realized what I needed in my life, and that’s you, big guy,” she ended on a whisper, looking up at him with adoration and a wry grin.

“Your words are a balm to my heart, my Lady. Now, I will make love to you on my brother’s bed for his audacity in making me believe he truly wished to bed you.”

“Oh, I’m sure he wouldn’t have turned me down if he didn’t know what was at stake. Loki respects you too much to do that.”

“I’ve learned a new depth to my brother this day. He truly is a changed man.”

“Yep. Good on the inside, but a bad boy on the outside.”

“Let us no longer speak of the Trickster, although I am grateful to him for bringing you back to me. I shall thank him another time.”

“Less talk, more walk?” she inquired, and he chuckled.

“I do not understand the reference, but assume you are asking me to stop talking and make mad, passionate love to your sweet body until you can no longer walk.”

“That sounds about right.”

“As you wish.”

Without warning, Thor flipped Darcy onto Loki’s bed, face-down, pulling her waist roughly and ripping her clothing from her in his two big hands like they were cobwebs he was swiping away.

“Thor!”

“That’s right little girl, call my name.”

“Those were my best - mmfff!”

Thor had stuffed a finger in her mouth, making it two when she made to bite at him, and she felt his now-naked torso hovering hotly against her back and bottom, the dense fruit of his loins swinging between his legs, occasionally brushing up against her satin skin.

“Suck,” he commanded, and she fucking melted, her body feeling like it was going lax.

Doing as she was told while planning her own sexual payback over the next few days, she relented, finding it weird to smell Loki’s scent mixed with Thor’s. It was a bit sordid, fucking on Loki’s bed, but she knew Thor was getting off on it. Asgardians were weird.

“It burns my gut to think of my brother taking this, taking what’s mine,” he gruffly bit out against her neck, rutting against the crack of her ass lightly, pressing his thick erection against her round, soft bottom, moaning and grunting to hold back from merely sheathing himself in her tight, wet heat.

“I claim Thee, Lady Darcy Lewis. You are mine. I was a fool. Such a fool.” His voice trailed into a whisper as he began kissing up and down her spine. His lips dragged over each bump, letting the tip of his tongue slip out to trail along it, feeling her huff and shudder beneath him. Feeling his chest swell with this simple touch having such an effect on her, he pulled his fingers from her mouth. He brought them around her waist to slide between the slick upper lips of her cunt, finding her pearl and rubbing softly, so gently in circles around it, his touch light as a feather despite his roughened fingertips. The sensation was a study in sexual torture, but Darcy didn’t seem to mind, making lovely sighing sounds and arching her back like a cat against him.

“Thoorrrrrr,” she whined, pressing her ass against him. She wiggled it, catching his cock in her ass cleft, grinding back, keeping that maddening half-whine, half-moan going.

Thor felt his balls clench, the little temptress trying to take control. “Oh no, you don’t, little Lady. This one is mine. You shall oversee the next one.”

“Cocksure, aren’t ya?” she teased, her response breathy.

The All-Speak failed to translate well, but he understood the gist of it and ground back against her. “Yes. Absolutely. Submit to me, mortal. Give the God of Thunder your lush body, and I will worship you, pleasure you, give you something only precious few have ridden upon.”

“Shut UP!” she complained, and he growled, removing his finger from her and grabbing both of her tits, pulling her up, so her back was flush with his chest and belly. He kneaded her globes firmly, nose sending hot, swirling currents against her thick curls.

“I will say what I wish, and you will listen, and take it, darling girl.”

“You have some nerve- “ she began and started twisting against him.

“I can see you intend on turning on your inner hellcat. So be it.”

Ten minutes later, he had her trussed up against Loki’s bed, various pieces of Loki’s clothing ripped to shreds and used as binding over her luscious, spread-eagle, naked and trembling form. He was going to FUCK the rudeness out of her eyes until she was boneless, spineless, and jelly beneath him. Then he would take her back to his quarters and fuck her again into unconsciousness. She wasn’t getting away from him this time.

One of her sweaty socks was rubbed through her cunt and stuffed into her mouth. She was spitting mad. He was quite sure if he let her go right at this moment, he’d be blind, chest torn to ribbons, balls tied into knots and he unconscious with his own dick shoved up his ass. At least, that was what her eyes threatened.

“Insolence,” he repeated, crawling up the bed after having admired her, walking around and making an exaggerated point to see her from every angle, loving the sweat covering her trembling muscles, her soft breasts falling to either side of her chest. “It will not be tolerated. Right now, in my brother’s bed, whom you schemed to have sex with, even if such scheming was false, had exactly the right effect you thought it would.”

His mouth lowered to just above her sex, her core betraying her by dripping juices onto the bed in a profuse, obscene stream of wet. 

Despite her anger, she was turned on beyond belief. She tried to lift her hips to get him to touch where she wanted it, but he pressed her back down at the hips, shaking his shaggy head and tickling her clit with his beard.

“Mmmfhh!” she trembled, laughing, then moaned when he leaned in for a fast lick, suckling quickly and pulling her clit back with his lips, letting it go with a small pop. She trembled, and he chuckled darkly.

“That’s right, my love. You got what you wished, and now you shall pay the price of teasing a God.”

If this was punishment, she didn’t want to see him when he really was pissed because this was delicious torture.

Thor lowered his head in earnest, his deep blue eyes flicking up to capture her weakening gaze, mouth slack and drooling around the sock. 

With a sigh, he blew over her mound, loving the way it quivered and jiggled as she tried to shift her hips, making a frustrated sound as he continued teasing her.

Finally having mercy, and unable to resist any longer, Thor ate her out in earnest, swiping his tongue deeply through her folds, running the flat of it over her clit. He spat on two thick fingers and worked them through her slick, loving the way her body hitched and trembled.

Carefully working them into her tight sheath, he groaned, his cock jumping in anticipation.

_‘Patience,’_ he chided little-big Thor, the damn thing pulsing already against the sheets. Fuck, she was hot. If he was a bit excited to be taking her over Loki’s bed, well, it wasn’t something he was going to analyze too carefully at that moment.

Thor loved feasting on her cunt and did so with gusto and relish. It took all of three minutes for her to scream around the sock and cream over his face, her small squirt making a fucking mess of his beard as he growled and lapped up every last drop he could reach, laving her gently to bring her down. He could tell she wanted more than his mouth, but he wanted to give her one more orgasm before taking his pleasure in that manner. Who knew how long it would be before she allowed him back down between the treasure of her thighs after tonight?

The God allowed her a short respite, moving up slowly, kissing and nipping at her belly, thighs, hips, making love with his mouth to her tits. She was trembling again, pressing up against him, and he smiled against her lovely skin, teasing her with the tip of his cock, pressing lightly against her soaked entrance. She whined, and he looked up at her. “What is wrong, my dear? Do you wish me to impale my thick organ upon you?”

He was amused when she nodded frantically, pulling at her wrists and straining the fabric of Loki’s ruined designer shirt. “It’s a shame my brother will have to replace half his wardrobe. I do believe it will cost a fair amount of Midgardian currency.”

He laughed when Darcy made a disgusted, inarticulate sound around the sock and rolled her eyes, pressing her hips up again and making an impatient noise this time.

“You are entirely too greedy, little one,” he whispered in her ear. “I think I shall taste you again.”

He chuckled, twisting her nipples when she shook her head frantically, pleading with him with her eyes and whining to get him to fuck her.

“Ah ah ah, little one. You shall have your turn. Patience.”

She screamed deep in her throat, and he threw his head back and laughed even more. “You do amuse me so. Now. You will come again for me before I grace you with my cock.”

This time he didn’t hold her down, opting to keep her pussy lips spread between two fingers, so he had a clear bead on her clit, teasing her with the tip of his tongue and driving her crazy, alternating light pressure with hard sucks, running teasing circles around it, then finger fucking her in earnest, working her up to three of his thick ones before she bore down and creamed all over his hand and face again.

Thor couldn’t wait any longer and surged over her, holding his dick to her searing entrance and slid in halfway, panting above her. His chest heaved, and he asked her shakily, “Will you behave and mind your tongue if I take out this sock?”

“Mmm!” she affirmed, and he did so, relishing the relieved sigh and reaching to the sideboard for a glass of water, feeding her some through a straw. “Are you alright to continue my love?” he asked, concerned he was taking her beyond her limit, but she just closed her eyes and dropped her head onto the pillow.

“Fucking A, Thor. You eat pussy like a goddamn Olympic Gold Medalist.”

“I will assume that is a good thing.”

“It’s the best.”

“I am happy to have pleased you.”

“Pleased me? If you let me up, I’ll tie YOU to the bed and sit on your face until you suffocate, asshole,” she snapped, laughing at the same time.

“Language little girl,” he murmured against her lips, pouring little drips of ice-cold water down her chest and making her scream.

“Just – oh fuck, that’s cold! I give! Stop, stop!”

He put the water back and licked every drop off of her tasty body, wrapping his hands around her to grasp her ass and squeeze, putting his full weight on her, so she gasped.

“Thor! Too …. Heavy!” she panted, and he grunted, propping himself up on forearms before shoving his length the rest of the way in.

“Then behave,” he warned, and she nodded, reaching up. He finally allowed her to take his lips, losing himself in her kisses as they devoured one another, two starved beings coming together in the primal dance of fornication.

Thor fucked her hard, already unsure if he’d be able to last, but knowing he could take her a second and third time in succession if she was up for it. Or even if she wasn't. The wet slap of their loins, her soft moans into his mouth, body twisting sexily under him, was his undoing. In no time at all, he ground against her, making delicious, sinful, and deep noises as he came intensely inside of her, feeling as if his balls were making up for lost time the way they seemed to contract forever. He stilled, resting for a minute and tensing when she snarked, “What, was that it?”

Oooohh, she knew how to gall him.

“No,” he rasped against her chest, deliberately giving her beard burn for her audacity as she squealed. “I am not DONE. Wench. I’ve hardly gotten started. You are going to come on my cock so many times you will forget your own name, girl. And then I’ll fuck you even more. When morning dawns, you will praise me with your delicious, sensual body again to relieve my morning erection.”

“Oh my GOD. What is it with men and morning wood?”

Thor laughed outright at that. “Wood. That is amusing. Is it a Midgardian term?”

“Yeah. Duh. Look it up. I’m surprised Loki hasn’t taught you some of the more colorful language.”

“Loki is not a gentleman in the best of times. If you enjoy a filthy mouth, I can oblige with research on your Internet and The Google.”

“The Google,” she gasped. “You crack me up.”

“Then let me steal your breath once more, for I am aroused again and wish to flood you with every last drop of my seed I can push into you this night.”

“OH MY GOD!” Darcy giggled and sighed at the same time. Thor allowed her up, turning her, so she was on her hands and knees.

“Not gonna last long like this,” she mumbled into Loki’s pillow. Then she added, just to piss him off, “Your brother’s bed smells super nice. Can we fuck in here every night?”

“OH GOD THOR!” she screamed as he slammed his wet prick back into her gaping heat, fiercely pulling on her hips, bruising them with his fingertips as he fucked her hard and fast, gritting out, “It is unwise to tease me my La-dy,” grunting over each syllable and past each wet, messy smack of his balls against her lower ass.

He drove the breath from her until mere squeaks of protest sounded, her nails scrabbling at the sheets for purchase and finding none. Thor loved fucking her, loved making love to her, simply loving her with all of his heart. Why had he been such an idiot and almost allowed her to slip away?

The thought of Loki or any other man fucking her drove him wild, and it wasn’t until he heard a choked sob that he realized he was probably hurting her in his frenzy, slowing significantly and lowering over her back, kissing along the top of her spine and shushing her.

“My Lady, Darcy, love. I am so very sorry. Please forgive me. I have no wish to hurt you, please tell me if my lusty appetite has pained you beyond your comfort level.”

“Good. Hurt,” she groaned out, deliberately gathering her strength and pressing herself hard, back against his pelvis, fucking herself along his length, causing him to growl once more.

“You siren. Are you giving me permission to punish you with my love?” he asked, purring into her ear, and she nodded, breathless.

“Yes, Thor. FUCK ME!” she demanded, and he obliged her without question, staying low over her, humping her like a wild animal, the speed with which he fucked her belying his size. Powerful hips and ass hunched into her, driving her higher and higher until she broke one last time over him, bearing down and squeezing, voice gone, body shaking, contracting, and spilling down the inside of her thighs and his groin.

Thor reared up and slid almost all the way out, pressing back in, slow and tight, groaning loud and extended with the heavy streaks of cream and come all over his shaft.

“Fucking. Gorgeous,” he gasped, holding onto her hair and pulling her head back until her back arched. She was still coming, so hard it milked him sublimely that after a dozen more striking blows into her cunt he tensed, feeling his belly, balls, and thighs tighten and release, roaring out her name and several Asgardian epithets that didn’t translate, but would have almost made Loki blush for the combination of them.

When he finished, he didn’t pull out, instead kept his seed plugged inside of her, falling carefully to the side, Loki’s bed creaking under him a bit where he landed, spooning Darcy, pulling her into his sweaty chest.

For a while, he just held her, thinking she’d passed out or fallen asleep, but her sweet voice negated that when she asked, “Is there any type of birth control on Asgard?”

Unconcerned, he swiped her wet hair back from her forehead, grabbing a comforter and covering their bodies when she shivered in the cooling air around them. “The genesis of child-making must be sought by two willing parties. There is the additional will of the Norns to consider if one or both parents are trying to get pregnant with any ill intent. Given the very long lifespans of Asgardians, and even longer of Gods, pregnancy is a rare and joyous occurrence, with much cause for celebration and merry-making all around. All children of Asgard are treasured.”

“So, in a nutshell, you can just pretty much know you don’t want to knock me up, and I won’t get a bun in the oven?”

“If you are referring to not conceiving, that is correct, my sweet. I would never bring a child into a world where there are so many needing loving homes. I wish I could bring them to Asgard. Many families would rejoice.”

Darcy scooted forward, and Thor winced as his cock plopped out of her, a gush of fluid soiling Loki’s bed and mattress as she queefed and turned over, laughing at the sound. “Okay, that was kinda gross, sorry.”

“No evidence of our love-making is ever vile. I cherish every moment.”

“God, you’re romantic! I love it.”

“My heart is glad to hear you say so.”

“So, like, there isn’t any type of adoption where you’re from?”

“Oh, there is. It is usually an extraordinary circumstance; parents dying in battle or from a rare form of illness; forced banishment. Rarely is there willful abandonment, or a couple choosing other partners, and neither wanting the child. As you know, Loki is Jotunn, and thus Odin took him from the wastelands of Jotunheim and raised him as Aesir, hence the form you see him in today. He was raised Asgardian. Outside of that? It’s almost unheard of. The only tragic part of the theory of Asgardians adopting Midgardian children is the children’s very short lifespans. It would break the hearts of many of my people, such that it would cause great mental anguish to lose children again and again. Your species grows into adults and old age and then death in less than a century. It would almost be a mental suicide for those that treasure them so. A century is but the blink of an eye to an Asgardian.”

“Hm. Yeah, that does sound like it would be a problem. I wish our population control was more like that of Asgard. Anyway, I was just curious. I’m on the pill, so no worries on my end, although, if you like, ever want to have a kinky breeding fantasy, you might wanna find an extra-large condom, just in case.”

Thor pressed his forehead against hers, telling her in a deep growl, “If I wish to breed you, it will only happen with your full consent. Even then, the Norns may not bless the union. It certainly would be fun to try.”

“Fuck, that’s sexy. I might want to roleplay that with you.”

“I look forward to it.”

“Can we ditch Loki’s digs and go back to yours? I’m getting a little squicked out thinking he could walk in on us at any time, and it doesn’t make me keen.”

“Loki may well already be here and simply invisible. If he wishes it so, you would never know he’d seen you in the throes of ecstasy.”

“EW!”

“Ha, haha!” he boomed, and she winced.

“Thank you. I’m deaf now.”

“Apologies, Lady. Yes. We can go back to my quarters. If my brother were here, I would be able to feel his presence. You are safe from prying eyes for the moment.”

“Whew. Alright, big guy. How do you want to do this?”

Thor rose, wholly nude and dripping, wrapped a sheet around his waist like a half-toga, and then threw the comforter around Darcy and lifted her in his arms, leaving the discards of clothing, mess, and other such joys behind them. All was quiet through the halls, except for the AI, which got quite an eyeful.

Ensconced in the Thunder God's quarters, the pair bathed one another languidly and sank into a dreamless, sated sleep wrapped in one another’s arms.

Much later, Loki arrived back at his quarters, appalled by the thick scent of stale sex, incensed by the ravaged and soiled state of his bed, and even more irate when he discovered the remains of some of his most cherished and expensive clothing items littering the floor and bedposts, clearly having been used as bondage devices.

Stomping down the hall, he pounded on his brother’s door and shouted at the top of his lungs, “THOR!!!!”

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was a very small study in feelings regarding casual sex. It's not meant to judge, demean or in any way put anyone down for having casual sex. I've found that some people can have that and be fine emotionally, some people cannot at all, and some folks can some of the time, but not with certain people. It certainly is a mixed bag. You can feel like you really hit bottom when you think it's what you want, but end up alone in a room by yourself feeling like shit, wondering what you're doing with your life.


End file.
